Would this piss you off?

Absolutely I would be annoyed. If you can cope with it, personally I would just let him go but tell him you are going to take the amount of time he his taking for yourself too. Get planning your weekends away!

But honestly, I think a big conversation about shared responsibility is needed

Do not take this offensive as it’s meant to be straight forward to maybe help you !! I tend to sound very direct

If he is providing for you and the kids let the man go do what he wants to because if it’s so bad to be alone with the babies for 1 day then maybe you can get a job or send the babies to daycare so the responsibilities can be equal .

if you are also bringing in money to provide maybe you can still let home go do what makes him happy but ask him to watch the babies for a day while you go do the things that make you happy that way maybe he will understand the pressure.

It’s never good to not let your partner do what makes him happy but just make sure you also get the same time do do things for yourself without the babies 🩶

@Angelica don't get me wrong he's a great dad and we do discuss things like this but if that was me I would say is it OK if I go like once a month! I am planning on discussing me taking a few hours to myself every couple of weeks so I can have a break yes! Thank you 😊

she would
Have to be bringing in a bunch of money to pay for two kids at daycare. He’s lucky she’s home and paying attention and taking good care of his children for him. He’s not paying for HER, he’s paying for his children.

OP, it’s ok to tell him that in this season of life he needs to be around more. These babies are not going to be babies forever. You’re supposed to have downtown yourself too. This is 2025 and he knows how the world works. Make plans one of those weekends and ask him who is taking care of the babies?

it’s not for him or his kids it’s both of their kids.
life/ relationships are not equal or perfect they never will be sometimes you have to do more for the kids than your spouse does but as long as you can both do the things you enjoy on the side by taking that away from your partner good luck …

If you’re okay with accepting that it’s not equal that’s ok. OP put this post up because she isn’t. I agree with her

I don’t think it’s sad if she also gets that time to go spend a day to do what she loves every other week, if he can so can she… if not that’s when it’s not fair and she should stop allowing him to go do his sports

I would let him go and maybe the week ends where he doesn't have a game; you can schedule some time for yourself where you leave him with the kids ☺️ i do that with my husband - he wants a night playing video games, fine but i want a night of my own in return 😅 (never do anything fancy mind you, but he then has full responsibility and i put my feet up for the evening)

@🌸🎀ELLA🎀🌸 yeah thanks for your input, but as I have twins I wouldn't be able to go to work and afford the nursery fees. I mean Jesus christ it's not the 1950s and we decided to have kids and share responsibility. My partner already gets plenty of free time as it is with this on top it's alot!

@Claire yeah I'm going to start asking like for like. You want to be away for a day then I need a day. Never had more than a few hours to myself and that's when I'm helping my mam with her shopping or housework!

As someone whose dad played sport for years (and still does) you can't just be a part time player and dip in when it suits. If you're in the team, you're in it, and therefore expected to show up for matches. Obviously it's ok to dip out of the odd one, but in general you're expected to attend. If it's an away match, can't you make a day of it? Maybe you go along and meet him after the match and spend the day wherever you've gone to? This doesn't have to be something that doesn't involve you at all.

@Rebecca I get that but this team isn't 'serious' it's just for fun. I do go to some matches but the babies don't fair well travelling and one game can take 4 hours in total! He goes once a week as is to practice (every week) and games are optional so it's not that serious. It's just for him to go have fun so I'm gona take some time for me 😊

@Rebecca also for context he never played this before but decided to start this new hobby when the babies were 3 weeks old... Guess he needed some time off 🤪

My partner is the same he goes to sports on the weekend Sunday and they play Criket for like 8 hours he starting playing when our baby was 1 month , he works 12hr shifts 4 days on 4 days off , at first I was pissed because well same situation as you he has 4 days off and most of those days it was all about just practicing for him or doing something he likes , we talked and said well if you get a day I get a day too and it’s worked out good , hope you can sort something out I only have 1 baby I couldn’t imagine having to take care of twins at the same time and also trying to find time to give myself some love

@Lyric thanks Lyric yeah I think if I get some time too I will feel alot better about the situation 😊

This sounds so similar to my situation however my husband would look after the baby if I had a hobby or if I want to go to the gym I just have to make sure I pump enough milk for my baby. Try to allocate time where he has the kids and you go do something for yourself otherwise resentment will build up

Yes would annoy me too.

Yeah, no. You have every right to be upset. Call me petty and selfish but I don't care. I literally never get time to myself or to do what I want so I expect the same from my husband. If we both want to do something (go on a walk, go to a park, go on a day trip, etc) we do it all together. We both understand that once our daughters are older it will be easier to start to do things for ourselves again but until then we both sacrifice anytime for ourselves. Now with that being said, in our particular case we don't have a choice because neither of us has any family or friends in the state in which we live who could watch our daughters if we wanted a small break. If you either have any family or trusted friends who could watch them while you take a much deserved break, I would ask your partner if he is comfortable with that. If he isn't then tell him if he wants more time to do things that he wants to do that you expect him to give you the same courtesy.

@Breaha thank you all my family work so I have noone else to help but I'm sure he could give me a couple of hours now and again considering he does it regularly 😀 x

@Amina thanks all my family work or have their own children I feel awful asking someone to babysit especially as their are 2 of them and it's bloody hard work! We can't afford a sitter right now but I'm sure he can cope for a few hours now and again 😊 x

As a stay at home mum, I know exactly where you’re coming from here. It’s much cheaper for me to stay home it’s not necessarily because he’s ’providing’ for me & I’m at home having a jolly as the person above insinuated.

Op, it can be so challenging being at home all week with small children & then have to do it all over again at the weekend there is no breathing space. I always feel so deflated when my husband tells me he’s got weekend plans because I just like having a bit of a break sometimes and that is ok!

I also hate it when I do one thing and people say “oh is your husband babysitting” erm no? He’s not they are as much his children as they are mine!

Just because we are at home doesn’t mean that we are doing nothing, it’s bloody hard! We wouldn’t just turn round to our husbands and say “we’re going to be away every other weekend” so why do they get to do that?

@robyn yeah I hate when people say ah is dad babysitting... no he's looking after his children! It's hard being at home all the time but I'm going to take more me time! 😊