How does finance work in your relationship?

I’m a SAHM with no maternity leave, my husband is in charge of all expenses right now but I always have to ask him to transfer money to the joint account so I can spend on groceries, food or baby stuff.

It’s annoying that he doesnt do it himself so I can be comfortable with spending and taking care of our baby.

In a matter of fact, my ideal is having all of his money in the joint account and we can share and spend on stuff together. Am I being greedy? Lol

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We have personal accounts, joint bills account, joint savings account, and joint fun money account. We decided on an amount we’d each contribute to the joint then the rest is in our personal accounts

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No you aren’t being greedy!
We have joint accounts and access to all banking information so that if I do need more money, I can just go in and transfer. If anyone is greedy it’s gonna be him hoarding all his money cos damn, you’re trying to run your house!

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Since I went on mat leave we put nearly all of it in joint account (spending, bills, savings, investment etc) and then we both have the exact same spending money depending on our budget and we can spend it on what we like on OUR things. Anything for our household or baby etc is from joint accounts. Works well for us.

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We have our own accounts we pay our own car/phone bills ect he pays rent whilst I'm on maternity leave and I buy shopping and baby stuff. He will send me a bit of money if I want to get a coffee with friends though as he knows I go stir crazy in the house

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With your bank, can he set up an automatic monthly/biweekly/weekly amount to be entered into your account? I’m a sahm as well and my husband has done this for me in the past. Currently, he has a small portion of his direct deposit put into my account every paycheck.

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All money goes into our joint account. All our bills and savings and family things and everyday small things comes from this account. We both have equal access because it is our money even if his name is technically on the check.

From there, a verysmall percentage goes into our “play accounts”. We both have access to them but it is essentially a savings for us to use however we want. If my husband or I want to make a bigger purchase (over 100 right now) that is strictly for themselves, it has to come from their play account. Mostly this is used so my husband can save for his expensive guitars lol.

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We have a joint account we put set amounts into for household expenses and our own. I think he would actually put everything together, but my ex robbed me blind so I won’t do it again. 😬

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I don't work due to health reasons at the moment so my hubby pays for food and bills from his account. I get universal credit but only if he doesn't earn enough otherwise he helps pay my bills as well

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We have both, I do imagine it's maybe different in a situation where only one of you earns the money, would definitely be good if he could set up a monthly direct debit so you can plan expenses

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We have separate accounts but I transfer any additional money to my other half to save, because I am useless. I pay more on bills and mortgage because I earn more, but that's just how it is 🤗
I'm rubbish at cleaning so he tends to do the majority of that, that's a bonus 😂

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I’m a SAHM and we have separate accounts still but he’ll send $2000 a month for bills/grocer and he’ll send more if I ask but I automatically get $2000 monthly without asking

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We have separate accounts. We were supposed to move to a different country where we would have had one account, but that didn't happen.
I think once we buy a house and I finish maternity leave, we will look more into a joint account

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My hubby and I have separate accounts and I’m fine with that for now because even though I’m a SAHM I have passive income and I do our taxes and budget for us so I know how much my hubby makes and he pays all the bills and lets me save my small income for my own spending money. If I didn’t have at least a little something going to my own accounts though I’d definitely demand to have joint everything

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i’m a sahm, not married. we don’t have a joint account, he sends me a few hundred a month for groceries and whatever else i can make it stretch for. sometimes i have to ask, sometimes he does it on his own

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We have both joint and separate accounts but we also both work outside the home. If I were a stay at home parent I would certainly expect to be able to access the majority of the household money.

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We have one savings and one checking account, both joint, both have equal access. My work as a SAHM is just as valuable and needed as his work as an engineer. Its OUR money. We consult each other on very large, expensive purchases, but I don't have to ask him money to do the day to day shopping and spending.

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We have personal accounts too but that's for our fun money. The main stuff is all covered from the joint account including all bills and everything for the kids including clothes, days out, meals, treats.

We both work outside of the home but this has remained the same while I was on maternity leave for 2x 14 months.

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We have separate accounts but he pays for everything. I use my credit cards and he pays the balance so that I’m building credit if that makes sense

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It’s not greedy! My husband and I moved everything to be in one account because we noticed it was getting to be a sore spot in the relationship. Now, it’s all chill and we can each see where money is going. We discuss big purchases but otherwise we sit down once per month to plan out what we want to spend. It’s not selfish for it to be in one account.

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We each have our own personal accounts (current and savings) and a joint account which we pay into monthly for the mortgage, household bills, food, baby stuff etc. Anything for the house/family we pay out of the joint account and anything personal for ourselves (clothes, phone, subscriptions etc) from our personal accounts. This works really well for us. We both work (although I'm currently on maternity leave) but he earns a lot more than I do

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We share everything. We discuss big purchases before making them. We’re both very considerate of each other and it just works for us

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Joint account both our wages and all bills & household expenses go out of. Separate accounts for our own ‘spending money’ to spend on what we want.

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In all honestly men are just silly and think we will ask if we need anything (money etc) he’s probably not intentionally doing it. He’s probably just silly

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I can’t have a bank account here (well I can but it’s an absolute pain in the ass to set up and has to go through my husband anyway as I don’t work) 🙄

So it’s all through his account. He does send money to my UK bank each month just so there’s some in there as a little savings for me and then I use his card for whatever I want and he pays all the bills.

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We have both a joint account and our own separate accounts. We put a set amount in each month to cover our bills and shopping and then the rest in our accounts is our own money. My partner does put more into the joint account purely because he earns more and I work part time to be home with our little one

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Get a credit card and pay it off at the end of the month. This will also top up his credit score! 😀

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Seperate accounts but My husband pays for everything then if I want to pay for extras for myself or baby or things at home I do from my savings as I don’t work right now

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I think it's sooooo ridiculous and a slap in the face to you and for all that you do for him being a stay at home mom. You guys need to have one account with 2 cards connected to that account. I can not believe he makes you ask for money for things...🤦‍♀️

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Joint CC? That’s what my husband and I have.

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Me and my husband use to split the bills and his was his mines was mines i stopped working so now he gives me his whole check and I do what needs to get done with it. He gets 20 to do what he wants(gets a vape) and will ask me for what he needs. All his idea he knows he isn't good with money.

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Not greedy at all. My husband and I have a joint account that his check goes into. I have my own separate account from my inheritance. He doesn’t have a separate account. He pays all the bills. U should have access to the money.

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My husband stays home with the kids and I’m the primary provider and he works part time a couple nights a week. We have a joint account we both put money in and then our own accounts. The only things that come out of the joint are household and kid related items unless otherwise agreed upon. Everything else comes out of our own accounts. We have our own car payments and car insurance that we pay for on our own. It works great for us.

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no... Men are smart stop

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im a nanny and gig worker, and he makes 98% of the income which pays all the bills. if i need money he will send me money within reason we have a tighter budget but if i want $50 for fun shopping he’ll give it to me. we do grocery & other necessities shopping together usually.

we have separate accounts but his has the majority of both of our incomes. some stuff is directly to my account because it was set up prior to us even meeting and its less hassle to just keep my account.

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We have separate accounts. But only because we didn't want to update all the autopays. Whenever I need to pay or buy something, he just sends the money. It's our money, we treat it as joint. He makes most of the money, I manage it. The way it works out, his income covers all bills and groceries. What I bring in is for any wants and building our savings... basically, he makes the money and let's me manage it and asks me what he can spend lol.

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Ask as you go was our model and I will never ever do it again!?! EVER, fully accessible joint account or money in your own accounts

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50/50 in our house

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I don't share an account with my husband at all. For buying baby things, I simply send him the links of what I want and he buys it. I work full time but when the baby is here I expect him to pay an allowance each month for the baby. We don't have a mortgage or house together yet but I will be purchasing my own house and paying the mortgage and he will do the same with his own (we don't want to waste our own stamp duty allowances by buying together). But if I wasn't working and gave up my job to care for our baby I'd expect him to pay for everything without asking x

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Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

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17

Are these men ok?

I get so sad seeing all the posts on here daily about women dealing with partners who are treating them horribly. I know it seems over represented because those of us with great partners don’t need to write posts asking for help, but I really hope most of us don’t have these kinds of men in our lives!

I tell my husband about these posts I see sometimes and he’s even shocked by some of the things these guys say/do.

Nobody’s perfect, and every relationship takes work. And becoming parents is a stress test unlike any other for sure, but seeing how many women get stuck in these relationships with men who aren’t interested in being better is so so sad😞

But is/was your partner helpful, loving, and supportive during your pregnancy/PP/etc? Was he a wonderful person but changed for the worst after becoming a parent? Has he put effort into becoming the partner you need him to be, even if he struggles?

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6

Car issues

Idk if I’m in the wrong. I have a full time job. My husband takes care of the kids while I worked. Today was the day I was supposed to get us a car. But I couldn’t cause of the down payment. So now he’s texting me saying I’m wasting his day to be alone at Walmart so he can spend his tax return. I really want to say go ahead. Leave. Leave the kids and me alone. While you go out and spend money. While your at go ahead and buy urself your drugs and a bitch to go fuck.

Lucky I’m even thinking about him about the car situation if not I would’ve been buying me and the kids a car small enough for us!

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7

THIS DUMB 🍑 MF

LET ME BREAK IT DOWN 🤣🤣

THIS MAN DRIVES AN ELECTRIC CAR WHERE HE CAN PLUG HIMSELF IN (NORMALLY DOES TO DO DOORDASH ETC)
AND IT HAD A SPOT TO WIRELESSLY CHARGE
SOME HOW WITH 4 HOURS OF WORKING HE DIDN'T EVEN MAKE 20 BUCKS TO WASH CLOTHS ANOTHER RED FLAG

TWO NIGHTS AGO
HE CLAIMS TO GO OUT TO WORK. HANGS UP ON ME MID CONVERSATION 👀👀

4 HOURS PAST I'M GETTING SLEEPY STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM
IT'S LIKE 1:30AM I TEXT HIM NIGHT I'M MAD CONFUSED ALMOST AN HOUR LATER I ANT HEARD FROM HIM SO I CHECK MY TEXT.
THE SHIT SAYS "PHONE OFFLINE" AND SHOWS THE TIME FRAME MY TEXT DIDN'T SEND
SO I START CALLING TO CONFIRM CAUSE I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIM. HE'S BEEN IN 2 CAR ACCIDENTS 👀 NEITHER HIS FAULT

SO I GET FRANTIC MY GUY

3:14 ROLLS AROUND I CALL AGAIN SURPRISE HE PICKS UP.
CLAIMS HIS PHONE DIED WHILE HE'S HANGING OUT AND HAVING A VERY "GOOD" CONVERSATION. HE WON'T TELL ME WHERE HE'S AT OR WHO WITH. MIND YOU THIS MAN CHEATED ON ME WHILE I WAS 33 WEEKS PREGNANT.

SO AT THIS POINT I'M PISSED OFF AND I TELL HIM I'M HANGING UP CAUSE I LOOK STUPID BEING WORRIED.

HE TURNS AROUND WHILE NOT BEING AROUND THIS CHICK AND FINALLY TELLS ME ALL THE DETAILS.

BTW YES WE MIGHT BE POLY BUT HE'S POSTED HIMSELF AS SOLO POLY WHILE LIVING WITH ME!! HE THINKS I'M. STUPID WITH ALSO THIS SNEAKY SHIT.

IF I WAS TO DO WHAT HE'S DOING HE'D LOOSE IT.
BUT I'M ABOUT TO GO OUTSIDE!! CAUSE YOU PLAYING IN MY FACE

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Activities with baby

I’m so tired of not finding enough things to do with my 10 month old baby boy. What do you guys do to keep them engaged. I’m not giving him any screen time actually he’s not interested either in watching tv.
Any ideas and tips what to do with them I’m so tired 😣

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12

Nursery lunches?

My daughter is nearly 10 months old and starting nursery next month. I want to send my daughter in with lunches so I know shes eating healthy meals but I'm honestly so lost as to what to put in her little bento lunch box that will keep till lunch time and doesnt need reheating. Ive been doing loads of baby led weaning at home, but I tend to make it fresh or pull stuff from the freezer I've previously made and defrost and reheat.
Could you show me some of the lunches you've been giving your baby? Or have you been been letting the nursery deal with the food?

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