Not happy

We do it without a village too. And my SIL very much has my in laws regular help and support, which I’ve struggled with at times. I can call on my family when I really need to; but they aren’t as present as I expected them to be. Even more so after having my second baby, actually.
I don’t have a solution really. But I have found that many more people seem to be doing it without the village than with. Just solidarity that this is hard and exhausting, and acknowledging we historically never did this alone, so it’s normal to find it overwhelming sometimes!

We are pretty lucky. I just wanted to send you love and hugs though and let you know you're doing great xx

We don't have a village either, my parents live over an hour away, and my FIL lives Mins away but in bad health.
It is hard work, and I feel like I don't have time to myself, but I love being a Mum.

I do wish we moved closer to my parents as they would help out so much if we were close by

I feel the same way. We have very limited help, the two that help us work full time. Someone will have our eldest once a month at most. My family never even see them except for my auntie and cousin who see them at birthdays and Christmas. It’s so tough sometimes

Same. We have no help. But you have to try to make it work
For you and find happiness & joy in the day to day. For you and the kids. It doesn’t have to be big.

My parents live in another country and my partner doesn’t have parents. We don’t have any family at all around us so we are doing it completely alone. I guess it’s part of the reason why we only have one child, I would really struggle with more than one without any help

Thank you all so much ❤️ those messages are really helpful. It’s almost like I’m grieving a life I wanted so much. Which is silly because I have a beautiful family, and I do have my side who are there as much as they can in which I’m so grateful for. I think mentally I still sometimes feel like a child in the sense ‘I just want my mum’ even though I am a mum myself?! I don’t do well on my own, love being around people so feels extra isolating when the people who I normally lean on aren’t available (how dare they have their own life 🤣) just want big family dinners, bbqs, parties etc all the time. My partner’s mum has his other child all the time, cousins etc but my boys are singled out. Frustrating AF, I know it’s their loss, and ultimately they aren’t the kind of people I want my
Kids around. So it’s hypocritical of me to say I wish they made effort whilst not actually wanting them to?! I just wish they were better people and the circumstances were different, I need to stop wallowing🤣

I had 2 sets of grandparents growing up, spent every weekend with one or the other, including with my parents if we weren’t at the grandparents house they’d be with us. I want that for my kids so bad! I remember seeing my aunty taking some cousins out one weekend and I wasn’t invited, it broke my heart and I still feel the sting of it now. I’d hate to think my kids will grow up noticing a difference or feeling that way. Funnily enough I’m quite close with my aunty now and I think she just couldn’t handle me when I was younger 😂 still no excuse. And certainly not the reason why partners family don’t bother - it’s mainly because we had boundaries they didn’t like.and also the type of people to do you a ‘favour’ (more so one you didn’t even ask for like buy your child a present) then throw it back in your face 🙄 peasants !

No village here either! We even moved closer to everyone and they bother even less. My son has slept out around 6 times in 4 years and that was due to weddings/child free events… I tell myself it’s not my responsibility to make an effort, the kids will know who was there when it matters.