How do I ask my MIL and my friends not to wear perfume when they are holding my baby?

Have you seen your daughter personally experience a reaction? Or is it just a personal preference?

It’s a personal preference but with good reason. I’d rather avoid exposing her to substances that can cause hormone disruption

Do you have a study I can read about that? I haven’t heard of that before and when I look it up it says there’s no definitive evidence supporting that claim, and the only concerns with perfume fragrance is if the baby has ultra sensitive skin or a sensitive sense of smell

I’m sorry if that sounds judgmental! I just hadn’t heard of this before and now I’m curious

Absolutely no offence taken! Here you go https://www.endocrine.org/patient-engagement/endocrine-library/edcs#:~:text=Endocrine%2Ddisrupting%20chemicals%20(EDCs)%20are%20substances%20in%20the%20environment,of%20your%20body's%20endocrine%20system.

I will have the same “demands” once my baby boy is born.
To be honest I will simply tell them / send a message beforehand what we have decided when we have visitors and that we would appreciate that it will be respected.
I will probably still give everyone a burp clothes to wrap around them when holding the baby, just in case, plus they might use a fragrance heavy washing liquid. I think you don’t have to explain yourself, your baby your rules and if the visitors have the decency, then they should respect you without questioning. You decide who visits and if they can’t respect your boundaries then I believe they can’t visit the baby as they won’t respect any further rules you and your partner have established

I feel like it’s easier to impose when baby is a newborn - it gets harder as she grows and people assume the newborn rules don’t apply anymore!

I can imagine that though! But you have to stay strong for your baby, other people might not understand the true effects of having all these endocrine disruptions etc, but they should respect it, if that is what you want as it is your child.
Might be worth explaining it further to them, and just mention that this is really important to you. You can’t protect your baby forever but while you are able to do so, you would like to have those rules respected

If you're worried about how they'll take it you could suggest she has sensitive skin and sometimes reacts to it so if they eant to have cuddles they can't be wearing it.

Really you're best just telling them how you feel and you're not okay with perfume around her. Its hard sometimes but if you want your baby to be able to set boundaries for herself you also need to model that and set both your own boundaries and boundaries for her until she can for herself

I just send a little reminder text the day they are coming over and even then just ask them to wear less if they feel they have to wear it!

that’s really helpful, making it about setting an example for her to also be able to set boundaries in the future, thanks.

Thank you for sharing - I never heard of this before!

Just say can you not wear perfume if you are looking after LO as it clings to her and gives you a migraine

So will she not be allowed to wear perfume when she is older then?

when you say older? Children smell amazing anyway and wearing perfume is not a need. When she’s at an age when she can make her own informed decisions she can choose whatever she likes, as with everything!

I mean, when she starts puberty, as that is the sort of age they start to want to wear it.

well puberty is a tough one, I’m sure perfume will be one of many battles! Haven’t thought this far out though tbh, just trying to do the best I can to protect her from unnecessary exposure now 😊

I’ve found this difficult myself i don’t like it and mine is nearly 12 months

Glad it helped, honestly I've started to find all the things I struggle to push for it stand up for myself with and know i want her to be confident speaking up as she grows because i hate that I'm not. But the only way I can that's going to happen is if I show her how even if i feel uncomfortable!

Also works with not accepting people treating you badly or being disrespectful i try think what advice id give her in my position rather than thinking how I should react myself because I'm more likely to blame myself but should be more compassionate like I am for her