FTM

What did anyone else do? I am a stay home mom with my first baby. My partner works. He is gone before baby gets up and isn’t home until after baby is in bed. I have been struggling mentally an physically by trying to keep up on house work an just everyday chores all while caring for a baby. I have asked for help and talked to my partner about how I am feeling but I don’t feel heard. My family all live closer to over 2 hours away. I don’t leave the house unless it’s for doctors or to do grocery’s. We also only have one vehicle right now as the other is not tagged.
How has other moms overcome this.?

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Only one hour? I would just drive out there in the morning take a Very long nap and go fun shopping and then go home. I drive 45 just to do grocery shopping so an hour is nothing

Get out of the house! A moms group is best, a stroller walk is great, and just sitting at the park is good too. I fed my first kid purees on a towel at the park. No clean up needed! 😃 The less time you spend inside, the less your kid is there to destroy the house. Stroller walks are great exercise, all you need is a safe neighborhood to just walk and walk. It doesn't even have to be your neighborhood. My mom lives just over an hour away and would come once a week for about 5 hours to play with the kids and give me a break. I got my friends and family used to having background kid-noise when we'd talk on the phone. Even when my partner didn't understand, there were always things I could do or people I could connect with that would help get me through the tough times. Also, let the house go. Let it go a lot if you need to. There is no gold medal for best kept house while letting your health, life & family fall apart. Take care of the people, including yourself. There will be time to clean house later. ❤️

I feel this deep in my soul but my hubs works from home and I feel like screaming , get out and take the baby lol!

In terms of household stuff give him an ultimatum or gentle parent him by giving him a choice between 3-3 or however many you need done to lighten the load on you. Depending on how old baby is I was able to get mine to sleep most of the time by doing everything he’d need all at once. Feed, change then lay him tummy down on my arm and burp while I rubbed his back. That worked until about 7 months making small alterations based on milestones and everything. Being a sahm is HARD especially without supports. Feeling like you don’t have your village is not fun. It also sounds like juggling all this might cause some ppd so I’d find a day where family can come in and help w baby and chores so you can have a mama day because those feel amazing and it’s a nice mental reset. In terms of your partner making you feel like you’re not being heard, I understand that he’s probably tired from but you’re doing a 2 person job by yourself with no breaks and still cleaning.

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

Are these men ok?

I get so sad seeing all the posts on here daily about women dealing with partners who are treating them horribly. I know it seems over represented because those of us with great partners don’t need to write posts asking for help, but I really hope most of us don’t have these kinds of men in our lives!

I tell my husband about these posts I see sometimes and he’s even shocked by some of the things these guys say/do.

Nobody’s perfect, and every relationship takes work. And becoming parents is a stress test unlike any other for sure, but seeing how many women get stuck in these relationships with men who aren’t interested in being better is so so sad😞

But is/was your partner helpful, loving, and supportive during your pregnancy/PP/etc? Was he a wonderful person but changed for the worst after becoming a parent? Has he put effort into becoming the partner you need him to be, even if he struggles?

Pouches

I’m not one of those mums who stand in the kitchen making every meal from scratch and batches of healthy snacks as I simply do not have time with other children and soon back to a full time job, but I do try give my weaning baby part of what we eat at meal times and will throw something healthy together if what we eat isn’t suitable. However, I do have some pouches in for convenience or a last resort. I’ve only used these a few times in the space of two months but she absolutely LOVES them. She will scream for more, get excited when she sees the pouch and will literally eat the whole thing. She’s underweight so this is massive for me seeing her eat so well, but the guilt is getting to me a bit! Anybody else like a little pouch every now and then and can make me feel a little better about giving her them😅

Friends with shitty husbands

Does anyone have a close friend with a shittv husband?

My best friend of 14years married her high school sweetheart (minus the sweetheart.) He was always a POS growing up, had an on and off relationship and eventually from what I was told, they sorted their shit out and got married. I moved countries and her and I drifted apart for a while so I didn't know too much about what their relationship was like but assumed all was well since her social media alluded to that.

We both had babies within a year of each other, she had hers first and when she gave birth I found out I was pregnant. I had a rough pregnancy and we weren't in contact much but after my LO was born we spoke a lot. This is when I found out that she was struggling with PPD etc. She opened up about how useless her husband is, I would go as far as to say abusive. She's a SAHM who basically does absolutely evervthing & is being financially abused She's completelv touched out and is about to have a second child in a week.

I absolutelv cannot stand her husband. I hate how he treats her. I hate to hear about him. She posted on social media all the time about how lucky she is to have him as a husband and father to her babies yet cries to me on the phone in private about what really goes on.
I'm at a point now where I want to tell her that I don't want to hear about it anymore. I feel guilty that she's going through this but she's also allowing it to continue in a sense. I'm so emotionally exhausted with her problems and just want to shake her.

How do you/would you navigate this situation?

FTM

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