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May 2020 Babies 🇺🇸

The loneliness is real

One of the harder parts of having a “COVID baby” was that no one could visit, and at the time, the pandemic made that understandable. But as the world opened back up, the visits still didn’t come.
I was the first in my close group of friends to have a baby. Now that many of them have toddlers of their own, they expect me to make the effort to visit, often across long distances. I’ve done it, more than once, even when it’s hard. But when I ask them to come to me..They cancel..it’s too far…They’re too busy. Even my single, child-free friends don’t show up.
So now I’m not just lonely, I’m angry and Resentful. I’ve reached the point where I’m questioning whether I should cut ties with friends I’ve had for years. Because how long do you keep reaching out when it’s not reciprocated?
Making new friends has felt nearly impossible. I live in a town that doesn’t feel like home. I’m the only person in my department at work, so there’s no built-in social circle. The one friend I made through my child’s daycare moved 45 minutes away. My husband is deeply introverted, so socializing through him isn’t really an option. My parents live two hours away. My sister’s in California. I’m not especially close to my brothers. In short: I don’t have a village.
That’s why I’m here…again. I’ve tried before to make lasting connections, and it hasn’t worked out. But I’m still trying. If this resonates with anyone, I’d love to connect. Or if you’ve been through this and have advice, I’d truly appreciate it.