Parents who use physical discipline

I noticed on polls about how to discipline your child, the parents that do physical discipline seem to have lower emotional intelligence compared to parents who use different methods.

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How do you know they lack emotional intelligence and I don’t see those polls . Is it from awhile ago ?

I find that most parents who use Physical discipline use it as a last resort when different methods aren’t working. What indicates to you that they have a lower emotional intelligence?

there was one a couple of days ago. They get angrier faster and meaner. Maybe I can link the most recent post but I’ve noticed it on other posts as well

I told someone it was bad to hit their one year old child and they told me I was slow, illiterate, and needed to “get my ass beat” lol

If you find can you tag me or screenshot

https://www.peanut-app.io/share/4HFHZIzQHVb

Parker just posted the link^^

thank you for sharing the link

Some might not be emotionally intelligent , overwhelmed or an unhealed parent . I have gotten whooped when I was younger and my friend has a 6 year old who does not get whooping but I still discipline her by letting her know she can’t always get her way . And that being bad has consequences like not being able to go places or grounding . I personally do believe in spanking but not in the sense of everything they do you should hit them . I believe you should try to teach the child and speak to them and try to remove them from what every you don’t want them doing or time out but if nothing else works then I believe in spanking . I honestly believe the saying that gentle parenting is for gentle kids . I also believe some people use kids to take their anger out on because it’s easy . I feel like the topic around whooping is like everything else . Everyone is gonna always have an opinion and you can’t please everyone .

yes and i stil think you should don’t care ❤️

lol I didn’t even tag you, thank you for your very rational response

You didn’t have too lol & i stand by what i said :)

why did you comment? Why are you still holding onto anger over an conversation with a stranger on the internet?

There is a book worth reading about this. It's called Spare the Kids Why Whupping Children Won't Save Black America by Dr. Stacy Patton.

SpareTheKids.com

"Physical force against children is violence which triggers toxic stress on their bodies. Toxic stress refers to the excessive or prolonged activation of a child's stress response system. Physical punishment can act as a trigger for this stress response, setting off a chain of negative physiological and psychological reactions. Over time, consistent exposure to toxic stress can disrupt normal brain development, alter brain structure, and weaken the body's stress response system.

Pain changes the brain. Pain changes the nervous system. Pain changes the immune system."

Are you trolling ?

@ incognito she had something to say I had something to say back. It’s as simple as that 😭 and there’s no pent-up anger it’s people like her who keep bringing me up in conversations like this including polls about me why do i have to stay silent lol the double standard is crazy

no ma’am im actually not

I didn’t even bring you up lol I didn’t tag u. At least 3 people have told me I should get beaten up for saying hitting children is wrong on here. You’re not the first one 😂
I’ve never mentioned u before this either cuz I don’t take note of everything you say. Being told I need to be beaten tho is pretty memorable and it seemed relevant here ☺️

It’s not exactly a stretch to assume it was aimed at me, but hey glad to know I’m not the only one who’s come to that conclusion.

OK first of all you seem like a nice lady so I’m not trying to argue with you, but to understand this conversation you had to read a whole bunch of other stupid shit from a previous pole. I’m not gonna do it here like I did before there’s a difference between full on abuse and discipline for the millions of times. & My point was simply that the assumption wasn’t far-fetched.

Im a therapist. i have a ton of emotional intelligence. But I chose how I wanna discipline my kids. And as a parents that's my right. Hate me or not, idc. It's my choice.

I’m not in to the whole gentle parenting type stuff and I’d say I’m fairly traditional, firm but extremely loving with discipline.
But I’m almost 5 years into parenting so I’ve got a whole load more time to go but I’ve yet to reach a point where I’ve looked at the beautiful little girl I created and thought “yep, you deserve to be hit”. Blows my mind anyone would do that to their children.

There are in my opinion so many parenting techniques that are effective that don’t warrant physical punishment.

Also the terms “have their ass beat” “beat their ass” “whoop their ass” or even more worryingly someone talking about people needing a belt used on them. Is WORRYING. Why the hell are you talking in that way about your children.

It’s crazy to me that I’ve seen many of these women tell other women to leave their partners because they’ve hit them and called it abuse but still hit their children and can’t see the parallels 🤦🏻‍♀️

If you hit someone it is assault. Period.

When our daughter was around 1/2 years old she went through a period where she randomly started to bite me. There was no reason, she wasn't upset or angry at any point when she bit me. She would walk past her dad to bite me. I would talk to her, explain why it's not allowed and gave her other consequences. In the end I took her hand and gave it a firm (taking into account her size) slap. It shocked her. I then explained how biting effects me and others in a firm voice (not shouting). She finally got it wasn't acceptable. She's never bitten me or anyone else again nor have I or anyone else ever repeated my slap on the hand or anywhere else. She's 4 now and we have a great relationship. I would say I have emotional intelligence. I think this type of discipline is very different from always resorting to physical discipline but I felt it was a necessary action at the time and I still stand by it now.

I’m curious what constitutes “reasonable punishment”?

just because something isn’t illegal doesn’t mean that it’s ok or morally right 😬

“Reasonable punishment” is ambiguous. What is reasonable to one person, could be unreasonable to the next.

Assault is assault.

ah! Thank you for all that ❤️ I like understanding legal shit lol

I didn’t mean for that comment to come across as accusatory as it did 😅 My apologies.

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

Are these men ok?

I get so sad seeing all the posts on here daily about women dealing with partners who are treating them horribly. I know it seems over represented because those of us with great partners don’t need to write posts asking for help, but I really hope most of us don’t have these kinds of men in our lives!

I tell my husband about these posts I see sometimes and he’s even shocked by some of the things these guys say/do.

Nobody’s perfect, and every relationship takes work. And becoming parents is a stress test unlike any other for sure, but seeing how many women get stuck in these relationships with men who aren’t interested in being better is so so sad😞

But is/was your partner helpful, loving, and supportive during your pregnancy/PP/etc? Was he a wonderful person but changed for the worst after becoming a parent? Has he put effort into becoming the partner you need him to be, even if he struggles?

Pouches

I’m not one of those mums who stand in the kitchen making every meal from scratch and batches of healthy snacks as I simply do not have time with other children and soon back to a full time job, but I do try give my weaning baby part of what we eat at meal times and will throw something healthy together if what we eat isn’t suitable. However, I do have some pouches in for convenience or a last resort. I’ve only used these a few times in the space of two months but she absolutely LOVES them. She will scream for more, get excited when she sees the pouch and will literally eat the whole thing. She’s underweight so this is massive for me seeing her eat so well, but the guilt is getting to me a bit! Anybody else like a little pouch every now and then and can make me feel a little better about giving her them😅

Friends with shitty husbands

Does anyone have a close friend with a shittv husband?

My best friend of 14years married her high school sweetheart (minus the sweetheart.) He was always a POS growing up, had an on and off relationship and eventually from what I was told, they sorted their shit out and got married. I moved countries and her and I drifted apart for a while so I didn't know too much about what their relationship was like but assumed all was well since her social media alluded to that.

We both had babies within a year of each other, she had hers first and when she gave birth I found out I was pregnant. I had a rough pregnancy and we weren't in contact much but after my LO was born we spoke a lot. This is when I found out that she was struggling with PPD etc. She opened up about how useless her husband is, I would go as far as to say abusive. She's a SAHM who basically does absolutely evervthing & is being financially abused She's completelv touched out and is about to have a second child in a week.

I absolutelv cannot stand her husband. I hate how he treats her. I hate to hear about him. She posted on social media all the time about how lucky she is to have him as a husband and father to her babies yet cries to me on the phone in private about what really goes on.
I'm at a point now where I want to tell her that I don't want to hear about it anymore. I feel guilty that she's going through this but she's also allowing it to continue in a sense. I'm so emotionally exhausted with her problems and just want to shake her.

How do you/would you navigate this situation?