Exes new girlfriend sabotaged my daughter's birthday party

I need to rant. My ex (BD) has this new girl friend who acts like she is the mother of my children. Now, idc if she does this at his house, whatever, but not while I'm around (like at extra curriculars, she absolutely does not need to push in front of other parents and myself to get my son's baseball bag from the dugout when all the other parents are waiting for the kids to come out, then tried changing his shoes for him with me standing right there. He's 6 and perfectly capable of changing his own shoes). I have tried talking with her about her overstepping before but she has decided to become more excessive about it since.

Now, I'm trying not to let this get in my head, and because she it's so rude and disrespectful, I just ignore her when she's around.

I am the primary parent. I plan everything, take kids to appointments, etc. Well, I spent a month planning and prepping for a birthday party that we were having at his house (like we have done many times before without issue, he has a bigger yard). Considering his only contribution to the party was using his backyard and him getting a blow up slide, I consider myself the host of this party. I invited everyone, including his entire family because he struggles to manage even that, brought food, baked the cake, etc.

Party day comes and his GIRLFRIEND'S FAMILY shows up. 25 extra people. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents... they haven't even been dating a year. Neither of them bothered to let me know. They DOUBLED the amount of guests. First off, why were they there???? Second, it's one thing to invite one person to a party they weren't invited to, but TWENTY FIVE??? And not tell the host???

I'm livid.

What would you do???

I haven't said anything yet because I know I'm too angry at the moment to say anything.

Obviously, he has ruined any chances of us having a party together ever again. I will still invite his family to future parties for the kids, but I will not invite him (at least until the last second so they can't do this again).

How to handle this? I've stayed silent so far.

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I’m curious as to what happened food/drink wise when 25 extra people turned up uncatered for?

I don’t know what’s more shocking, the fact that she invited 25 of her family members for a bday party of a random stranger’s (to them) kids party (are they all a bunch of freeloaders?) or that they all turned up! 🤣

I think I would have turned them away once I saw how many were there and then kicked her out too. I mean this is your kid’s bday party, in years to come when you look back on pics he’ll be asking who all those people were and its gonna annoy you for the rest of your life explaining the story lol

Do you have someone who can mediate between you? It sounds like they won’t listen to you and you need to get your point across loud and clear about your boundaries and this shit not happening ever again.

I have no advice as such, because I am the Dad’s girlfriend, and mother of his second and third children, I have also been with him a substantial amount of time… However, WHAT?! I would never dream of this. I am not their child’s mother, I’m not even a parent by any means, I love him to pieces, I am there for him and I support my man with his parenting and fatherhood however I do not involve myself deeply in anything unless it is natural or I am invited to. I am VERY conscious about not overstepping because I care about his ex’s feelings as a mother, such as I’ll tag her in the pics of their son I upload on my social media, I’ll text to ask if certain stuff are ok etc… This woman sounds like she shouldn’t be around those children, she sounds crazy

I don’t think that’s an excuse… I’m ten years younger than my man, he’s 34, I’m 24. I would still never act in ways that would overstep > disrespect his son’s mother. In the same way I’d never allow anyone to overstep or disrespect me. She probably is sour and finds it difficult that he had a family before her, and it probably makes her feel better to act in control of the children so she can have a narrative without you… Weirdo, I’d honestly be careful because if you love someone else’s kids, if you’re a stepmum, you have an element of love for their other parent too, like a huge respect (In good situations, obviously), and you seem very kind so I doubt you created an unhealthy space! Sending love x

I personally wouldn’t be allowing her around my kids anymore bc she’s disrespecting you while your around, if they are ever alone I can’t even imagine what’s said while you aren’t around. And as stated above I deff would have been turning people away as well because who tf are all of you?? At that point idc about being cordial with her anymore bc she’s not being cordial with you, she continues to overstep even more after you talked to her?? Yea absolutely not.

This is what I was trying to get at with this poor lady, she does not seem like a safe person to be around her children because she cannot even do as little as to respect their MOTHER! Crazy

Tell her she can't come. They're not married and put her on a list of unwelcomed visitors.

If he is not going to listen or do something about it, I would either say nothing or tell him how inappropriate it was to invite another 25 people who are strangers to your children. Document it in an email or text to prove how he doesn't cooperate or seeks conflict.

Next time, hire a venue and do the party there. Don't tell him about it. He clearly can manage to organise his parties if he wants to.

With the school, I would try to have a chat to see if they can refuse the entrance to this woman. If she insist and she is so rude about it, I wonder if there is a report you cna raise to the police for disturbing the peace or something similar.

At extra curriculars, keep their stuff in a backpack or in a locker and make friends with parents to make sure they know you and serve as witnesses if you need them to. Is there anyone you can bring with you to the classes? Your mother, a friend? You shouldn't be alone dealing with her.

Do these people know your child? I mean what's the harm in having people at the birthday party at your ex's house? They brought their own food so it's not like you were scrambling around trying to come up with food for them. If they knew my kid and my kid knew them I really wouldnt be tripping like you are. I'm all for my kid having people around that love and care about him that's just me though. Don't come for me!! Lol

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

Are these men ok?

I get so sad seeing all the posts on here daily about women dealing with partners who are treating them horribly. I know it seems over represented because those of us with great partners don’t need to write posts asking for help, but I really hope most of us don’t have these kinds of men in our lives!

I tell my husband about these posts I see sometimes and he’s even shocked by some of the things these guys say/do.

Nobody’s perfect, and every relationship takes work. And becoming parents is a stress test unlike any other for sure, but seeing how many women get stuck in these relationships with men who aren’t interested in being better is so so sad😞

But is/was your partner helpful, loving, and supportive during your pregnancy/PP/etc? Was he a wonderful person but changed for the worst after becoming a parent? Has he put effort into becoming the partner you need him to be, even if he struggles?

Pouches

I’m not one of those mums who stand in the kitchen making every meal from scratch and batches of healthy snacks as I simply do not have time with other children and soon back to a full time job, but I do try give my weaning baby part of what we eat at meal times and will throw something healthy together if what we eat isn’t suitable. However, I do have some pouches in for convenience or a last resort. I’ve only used these a few times in the space of two months but she absolutely LOVES them. She will scream for more, get excited when she sees the pouch and will literally eat the whole thing. She’s underweight so this is massive for me seeing her eat so well, but the guilt is getting to me a bit! Anybody else like a little pouch every now and then and can make me feel a little better about giving her them😅