Feeling Drained and Unseen After Baby #2 – Need Advice & Support

We’ve just welcomed our second baby, and while things weren’t perfect after our first, this time around feels especially hard. Everyone is running on empty — sleep-deprived, overwhelmed, and stretched thin.
I’m really struggling. I feel like I do so much behind the scenes to keep our family comfortable, often at the expense of my own well-being, but my husband rarely stops to consider how I’m doing. I'm on maternity leave, breastfeeding around the clock, and still physically and emotionally recovering from a very difficult pregnancy and birth. There’s no “me time” in sight — and no real support for carving any out.
What’s adding to my stress is that I find myself picking apart everything my husband does. I try to micromanage things because I don’t trust he’ll do them right — and I’m constantly snapping or criticizing him, which I hate. But underneath that is a lot of resentment: his world, his identity, his routines haven’t changed like mine have. He still gets moments to relax or detach. I don’t.
When I bring things up, he often thinks I’m just angry over little things. But what he sees as “little” often takes real time, effort, and mental load — things I have none of left. I wish he could understand that, or at least try to see things from my perspective. I don’t feel heard or validated. I just feel… small.
I know this is part rant, but I also genuinely don’t know what to do. I want my kids to grow up in a loving, emotionally healthy household, but right now, it doesn’t feel like we’re giving them that. And I don’t know how to shift things when I feel so depleted.
If anyone’s been through something similar — how did you get through it? What helped? Or even just words of solidarity would be appreciated right now.

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Ive just had my 3rd and honestly felt the same way after my 1st and 2nd was born my husband has become so much more understanding of how much I carry mentally as well as physically.
We had little debriefs on each others day every evening before bed and our communication got so much better.
Your me time will come ❤️

I feel your pain, this is my story....everything what you wrote I could write about me and my partner...I actually feel like he is my third child... I dont have village, I did everything after my first born and then he promised to help after c section...and I believed him, but no...I did everything myself, only couple of times I woke him up but it took me couple of minutes, because he sleeps so deep and then I just gave up on him and was looking after newborn fully myself, all night feeds and sleepless nights...it was so tough...I woke up many times and could not remember how I put baby in his cot...also cleaning, cooking...all task at home were on me, as you said you don't trust your husband and he will always leave something behind...same here...and I simply know that he is so lazy and I just have to push myself through tiredness and exhaustion

Feels very similar to me. I’ve also tried expressing my needs numerous times and he’ll agree but struggles to put it into action. His job is excessively stressful right now so that doesn’t help and I don’t want to be on his case. But it’s hard when you worry that if you drop any ball due to sleep deprivation shit will hit the fan.
Maybe it’s a significant adjustment phase in marriage and hopefully just takes lots of work but can be resolved. Feel free to message me.

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

Are these men ok?

I get so sad seeing all the posts on here daily about women dealing with partners who are treating them horribly. I know it seems over represented because those of us with great partners don’t need to write posts asking for help, but I really hope most of us don’t have these kinds of men in our lives!

I tell my husband about these posts I see sometimes and he’s even shocked by some of the things these guys say/do.

Nobody’s perfect, and every relationship takes work. And becoming parents is a stress test unlike any other for sure, but seeing how many women get stuck in these relationships with men who aren’t interested in being better is so so sad😞

But is/was your partner helpful, loving, and supportive during your pregnancy/PP/etc? Was he a wonderful person but changed for the worst after becoming a parent? Has he put effort into becoming the partner you need him to be, even if he struggles?

Pouches

I’m not one of those mums who stand in the kitchen making every meal from scratch and batches of healthy snacks as I simply do not have time with other children and soon back to a full time job, but I do try give my weaning baby part of what we eat at meal times and will throw something healthy together if what we eat isn’t suitable. However, I do have some pouches in for convenience or a last resort. I’ve only used these a few times in the space of two months but she absolutely LOVES them. She will scream for more, get excited when she sees the pouch and will literally eat the whole thing. She’s underweight so this is massive for me seeing her eat so well, but the guilt is getting to me a bit! Anybody else like a little pouch every now and then and can make me feel a little better about giving her them😅