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My Mother In Law Said What?!

My MIL the narcissist and my husband’s toxic family (long read)

So I always got along with my MIL…until of course things got serious between my husband and I. Before we were married firstly she tried on my engagement ring which I thought was real weird. My husband moved interstate to be with me so shortly after he moved we got engaged. We then fell pregnant 4 months before the wedding. She was super excited about the pregnancy and was great about the wedding. Now she made promises she didn’t really keep. She said she was putting a certain amount of money toward our wedding (the same amount as his 2 sisters) which I thought was nice. But she gave us about 1/4 of that. Then come the wedding she got hammered and was sitting on my husband’s lap telling him how much she loves him this was in Feb 2024. In March hubbys sister (sister 2) was getting married in Cairns so we flew there for it. My husband had a really close relationship with his dad and brother in law (other sisters husband who wasn’t getting married (sister 1)) the morning of the wedding sister 1s husband was listening to emo music drinking scotch at 6am sad about himself not being in the wedding because his wife (her sister) was in the wedding. On the way to the wedding he was making comments saying he would look at me walking down the street when I have a pram as mums are his thing now and my husband and I were like hmmm yeah you can’t make those comments. That night he gotta smashed like could hardly walk. He was damaging hotel property and all sorts because he was jealous his wife was out with her sister who just got married. My husband went to console him and calm him down and I went over (I was sober being pregnant) I went over and he said to me “I haven’t kissed you yet” and grabbed my face with 2 hands and pulled me in but I threw myself back and was like wtf. My husband told him he needs to stop that shit and if he wasn’t his brother in law he would punch him for that. I walked away but felt uncomfortable. The next day everyone was hungover and came to our room to recap. His brother in law was silent and hardly looked at me but also was acting like nothing happened maybe he forgot as he was drunk. I told my husband I was uncomfortable so he pulled him aside and told him what had happened just thinking he would apologise but he told his wife some story and she barged in and started screaming at us saying we made accusations that her husband wanted to fuck me which was furthest from the truth. We were so upset and I was crying as it became a scream match with my husband and sister 1. We hadn’t spoken to them since then (apart from a little later on)
His mum obviously backed sister 1 as she tries to copy her with everything 🙄. They didn’t believe that he had tried to kiss me. No one did even though my husband backed me. I even tried to get CCTV footage from the hotel but they deleted the footage after an amount of time.
Come June, we had my baby shower. She again got hammered at my baby shower and sat outside scowling and judging my friends. She was yelling at my husband to get her drinks and to put her music on yelling “I’m still your mother”. About 80% of my friends were coming up to me asking me if I were okay because she was making people feel uncomfortable as she was being rude. I was just embarrassed.
The next day we were sitting outside with his mother and I thought it would be a good time to bring up the rules of our baby to her in person rather than being over test as she lived interstate. I spoke to her respectfully with my husband there and as soon as I mentioned no kissing the baby for 6 weeks she started crying saying that we don’t know a grandmothers love and if she can’t kiss the baby than neither can we (his own parents 🙄) my husband wasn’t having a bar of it and told her to get over it, she went off crying in her bedroom and I felt bad for her so I went in and spoke to her. She tried to make to go back on my rules but I wouldn’t allow it. She then messaged her flying monkey (sister 2)and she called my husband yelling at him “why are you treating our mother this way ect ect” god know what victim story the MIL spun to her. This kind of fizzled out and we just counted the hours until she left.
During the time of me giving birth (August 2023) and that baby shower a lot of phone calls and messages happened. My husband was getting told to make things right with his sister (sister 1) and brother in law and apologise to them even though we had done nothing wrong. He was getting severe anxiety and it was really bad. He ended up trying with them but no response. The family was all blaming me for the family not talking saying I was a liar for making up the story in Cairns. Honestly why would I make that up? What would I gain from it?
My MIL used to make passive aggressive snide remarks to me that I kind of just brushed off for the sake of my husband as he was holding on to a relationship with them and I was supportive of that for him and our baby. I gave birth in mid August and for me that birth was traumatic and ended up in emergency C section. 5 days later his parents flew over and stayed with us. My MIL said she would help out and clean the bathroom and make food and all that which I was grateful for as my husband and I were exhausted from hospital and I was in recovery too. This was our first baby so we were also learning the ropes.
His mum literally sat on the couch waiting for me to give her our son. She told me that I should leave my child with her and go to Costco with my husband and his dad 9 days after I gave birth and I told her no way am I leaving my baby after I just gave birth and was recovering. She didn’t help until I was crying in the kitchen about the house being a mess (I was a hormonal mess as all mums are after birth) she then got up and cleaned the bathroom. I was so upset about my birth and I tried to talk to her about how it made me feel but she dismissed my feelings and said “you’ll be right you have a healthy baby” his dad even said it was too soon for them to have come over and they left after 6 days too long. As soon as they touched down in SA she put a photo of my son on social media and posted about 30 photos of him without asking us first. We asked her to take them down and she went overboard because that was the first time I really stood up for myself to her. She said I attacked her and I was keeping her grandchild from her which was further from the truth. About a month after my husband and his mum had a phone call and I was sitting out with him and his mum asked him “has she got her old body back yet” but she denies that she every said that and that really upset me. She made snide nasty comments all the time and denied them. I had had enough one day and I blocked her. She told me it was emotional blackmail not sending her photos and videos of my child and my husband told her that it was a privilege to be a grandparent not a right and she needed to respect us to have a relationship with our child. Things got really heated and we were both so sick of it all. My husband and I stopped talking to them for a while.
I tried to spark a relationship up again but the same things happened, the backhanded comments ect ect.
We ended up agreeing for them coming here this year (April 2024) they were stopping through while they went on holiday. They stayed for 2 nights. My MIL kept saying to me and my son “he doesn’t even know me” to guilt me. She would speak through my child to me and make comments. She would say things like “that’s not what he wants” when I knew what he wanted. They again got drunk and his parents ended up in an argument and yelling while my son was asleep. My MIL manipulated my husband into feeling bad for her (emotional incest I suspect) they had all had a few drinks and when I told my husband the next day he was so cringed at it all.
After they left I was done and I blocked them all. A few times in between we had tried to reconcile but the same things happen with them. We got into an abusive texts with sister 2 and the MIL but it was always my fault and she always played the victim.
Coming to today. My husband has his birthday last weekend and we have them all blocked…