Working vs SAHM

This threads about to be controversial I KNOW it. But as a working mom, how are yall just able to stay at home? My partner (not married) owns his own blue collar company, but if I’m not working I don’t have insurance or the new baby won’t either? Daycare where I live is $110 a week, so it doesn’t make sense to not work. Just curious how much yall are paying for daycare or insurance if you’re private paying.

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😲110 a week. Where are you located ?

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Seriously where is daycare 110 a week. Also idk how they do it I also have to work and am not married so I’m trying to find a less physically demanding job for the time being because I don’t know how long I’ll be able to do my current job pregnant.

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So when I had my first son- I worked until he was 1.5 essentially. He went to a babysitter 2 days a week from 9-3:15 and she charged $60 and I knew her. the other 2 days a week my mom watched him. (I only worked 4 days a week) I didnt want him in a daycare because I have diabetes and a weakened immune system and get sick super easily, knowing a daycare would send home tons of illnesses from everyones families.
Previously though, me and my now husband were engaged and planned on getting married and then covid happened and weddings stopped happening for a while so we went to the courthouse and got married very lowkey so I could be on his insurance because otherwise diabetes medicine costed $870 a month minimum, every three months it costed $1460.
Also your partner can get an insurance plan for his employees, make you an employee and use that for tax write offs as well. If he has insurance he can attach his son/daughter to his plan- theyre still his kid even if hes not married to you.

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I do a combo, but my husband carries the insurance for all 3 (soon to be 4) of us, so I would have it either way.

Daycare near me is $50-80 a day. 12 -20,000 a year on daycare is not a price I'm willing to pay for someone else to get to spend their days with my kid.
I work for a few hours every morning before my husband goes to work and then am home with my son the rest of the time.

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I work from home and we pay our nanny $1200/mo for coming M-F for 4-5 hrs/day. It’s absolutely impossible to work from home while caring for kids because I’m on Zoom calls most of the day, so we had to go the nanny route (I personally did nottttt want to do daycare) - I make about $5-6k/mo so for us it makes sense to pay the $1200/mo. I get insurance through my husband, so believe me the SECOND I can quit my job and we can be stable on my hubby income we will, I’m thinking 2 more years MAX. Mainly because I absolutely HATE working. I’m not a corporate girly, wasn’t made for that life haha. I wanna just be with my babies 24/7.

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I worked with our first and got laid off with my second (currently pregnant with our 3rd). My husband works a blue collar job (for an HVAC start up). So, we live below our means for now and I stay at home with the kids. As for insurance, because it’s a start up no employer sponsored insurance yet but we purchased our policy through the marketplace exchange and it’s been working out for us for the last 2 years. I plan returning to work when they are school age

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I live in a low cost of living state and daycare is still minimum $200 per week per child.

Often times it is more affordable for one parent to stay home with the rising costs of childcare in our country.

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Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

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Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.

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Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

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My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

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Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

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Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️

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