feeling judged.

hey so i have a 8 almost 9 month old who is extremely clingy!
She’s been like this since birth and doesn’t like her pram, car seat or stroller. I have to use a carrier to go out anywhere and i feel so judged in public. people look and stare and give looks because shes in a carrier.
My nan makes comments about how it’s cuz ive never put her down but i have tried.
In the pram ive let her cry for 10 minutes and she wont stop she screams the whole time until shes out and same with the car seat. she will scream the whole journey

At home she crawls and plays and is fine until i leave the room ofc.
When we go to her nans( bd mum) she won’t let anyone else hold her and will cry the whole time.
Today i took her to a baby playpen cafe and she was loving it until my bds mum came. She played abit but wouldn’t leave near me and kept climbing on me. She ended up crying at the end as she was tired and stuff. Her nan made comments about how it’s because she’s always with me and she needs to be without me and be around kids and other people instead of me. ( i’m on maternity leave so i was unsure what she meant because why would i leave her when im not working if ygm).
She’s good with being left in the room with my mum and that’s about it. My mums the one who will be watching her whilst i work so i’m fine with that.

I just feel so judged about it as if it’s my fault ?

Any advice or anyone else been in similar situations.

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She's literally an infant? That is who baby carriers are for. And I baby wore until my daughter was like 15/16 months. Do what works for you. Sounds like she doesn't like her grandmother/your MIL. I actually didn't like mine as a small child either 😂

Your baby seems comfortable when with you and in safe spaces. I don't see an issue unless you're exhausted. Does she take well to distractions while in the stroller/pram?

My little girl isnt a fan of the buggy either she does do better when she isn’t facing me and in the stroller but she won’t last to long it in and I always bring a carrier with me so I always end up pushing an empty buggy with her in her carrier 😂 you just got to do what is right you. There separation anxiety will peak and it’s a stage they are going through. I think it’s telling that she is fine around your mum so she feels comfortable being around certain people. Sounds like the MIL is putting it on you because your girl doesn’t take to her so Is finding a reason for it and blaming you. My LG is so different to my family to my in-laws they know who they feel safe and who they know

Girl!! Let that baby be clingy!! You’re their safe place! She said it’s too many unfamiliar faces out in the world 😆🫶🏽
Get a baby wearing sling, but that judgement? I promise it’s in your head! And if anyone made you feel bad about your baby wanting you- disrespectfully, f**k them❤️💐

If baby is happy healthy & loved then that's all that matters 💕 like you said she's absolutely fine with your mom or you & no offense that is no one else's fault but theirs if they didn't try and forge close relationships with you girls from day 1.

I took Early Ed so her attachment to you is STRONG lol. That's very healthy!! You always answer her & she TRUSTS you. Before 1 a baby learns 1 thing-

Trust VS mistrust of the world

& they learn this by how their parents respond to them/ interact with them.

I'll never forget playing music all day to get my oldest to be okay on her own not being held & it was blank space by Taylor swift. If I played that on loop, she didn't cry at all lol. & I'm not a Taylor fan it's just what YouTube went to.

Anyway on the other end, if she trusts you & your mom then you have solid babysitting/ for work like you said. Unfortunately it seems she didn't bond with anyone else before 1 & this is that outcome.

I visited my parents every week when both my kids are infant-1

& I spend lots of time. My dad comes over 2 or 3 days a week even during work week days to help me 🥰🥰🥰🥰 & for instance my oldest could sleep over my grandma's with my dad from 7 months old! But not my mom. My mom wasn't active. She was there for holidays etc.. but that's the price you pay when you don't spend enough time with a baby. My 2nd prefers my dad over my grandma or mom lol. It's all about spending time & alot of it.

I feel like it’s totally normal for a baby to want to be around their mama all of the time, especially if you’ve been on mat leave up to now. Like she is used to being with you all the time and that’s not weird. I use a carrier with my boy when we go in stores and crowded areas and always get funny looks and have had random people make weird comments. Carriers are totally normal in most other areas of the world and are starting to get popular now in the US. You have to do what works for you and what keeps your baby and you happy and sane. Sorry you’re not getting more support from baby’s nan! People will always have something to say though.

My daughter was the same and honestly I would just ignore them or start putting in some 'boundaries'.
You are mothering your child and by the sound of it, doing a great job!

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