Losing it with my 3 yr old

My future looking bright

This is sad. I know hormones are all over the place I’ve just had a baby too and we all react differently. It’s probably a lot for him to take in too! He has to share his mother now which he hasn’t done before & new borns take up so much time in the day and night he is probably acting out as he just wants attention from you. Just remember he is your baby too. You’ll be fine though just get through the first couple of weeks

Before you react to anything, stop, breath, count to 3 and then react. I know you're tired and hormones are through the roof but you cannot snap at your child, I know you don't want to. Screaming in his face....poor child.
Put the past to one side and try again tomorrow, spend some time, read to him, play a silly game, i know your baby needs you but so does your first born he needs to know he still matters and has your love too

I just recommended playing dragons to another mom. I have post partum rage. Its hard but I dont want to scream at my kid or traumatize her. Basically when I've lost my cool I pretend to be a dragon/dinosaurs and stomp around the house and roar. Sometimes if shes having trouble cleaning up & im internally fricken fuming I help out but I'm a stomping dinosaur. She joins in and will help clean. Or the other day I grabbed a crayon and was slamming it into the paper and said im a dragon making polka dots.

I have a newly 3 yr old and a 4mth old. I GET IT. But your boy is adjusting. He had you to himself. Now he has to share you...ALL FUCKING DAY MAN. He is missing you, I promise. He lovessss you. He needs help remembering he still matters and that he still belongs yk? Have him help with the baby. If you bottle feed have him help shake the bottle, get the diapers, or even protect baby like I go to the bathroom and have my 3 yr old sit in front of her baby brother and -continue

Let him know hes not alone." And she does. I watch from the camera and she will caress his face. Or i have her help me burp him. Pick out his outfit. Or I am intentional about letting baby know "hey you've had your turn with me so im gonna rock you in the bouncer while sibby & i play with Legos" or at night my wife takes baby after I nurse him and then I stay with our daughter and I read her a bedtime story and snuggle, just the 2 of us. Started that after a week home with baby. I pass baby to mom and say "okay el you gotta go hang with your mom because I want alone time with Gravy." And sometimes my wife and I pretend to fight about who gets to play with her and she starts to smile. Just try to find ways to make him feel like hes still so important to you, because he is. Have your bf take a walk with just him. And even just a walk with you and him only, even if it's just 10frixken min.

Ahh this is so conflicting to me. I want to be supportive. You're a PP mother of 2 which is hard. I would absolutely not ever scream in his face again. Remove yourself from the situation if that's how you're feeling. He's 3. He doesn't have the developmental level to purposefully manipulate you. Behavior is communication and he's probably trying to show you that hes still important too. I'm sure you feel he is but all he can see is time spent. He really isn't old enough to understand that baby needs more attention because they're so dependent. Maybe try to involve him in anything baby related you can so he feels included. Hang in there. ❤️


ETA that the dinosaur thing is a clever way to express emotions without it feeling directed any one way. Very good idea tbh

My son was 3 when his sister was born. I feel like he understood way more than I realized. Bringing a new baby home I knew was going to just change things up for him and I really just wanted to do everything I could to elevate the discomfort. What helped us was telling him this baby was his and we were going to need his help with taking care of her. Everything I did with new baby I just tried including him and praising him for being a great helper and a great big brother. The more he felt included the easier things were and also spending one on one time if you can, like having dad stay baby while you do whatever your 3 year old wants to do( going on a walk, playing with cars, helping with dinner). Lots of hugs, kisses, and snuggles. My 3 year old did some regression like asking for mommies milk and acting like a baby, crawling everywhere etc.
I know it's hard mama and I've lost my temper way more then I'd like to admit but it sounds like he just might want to connect withhe'

Hey, we all make mistakes in parenting. It doesn't come with a manual, ya know. As long as you just keep trying to do better then that's really all you can do. The fact you posted this, feeling so horrible, means you're a good mom who cares. A bad mother wouldn't think twice about their actions. It does get easier, mama, I promise. ❤️

We have a 2.5 week old and an almost 3 year old. Behaviors are all over the place with our almost 3 year old. Jealousy is starting to fade but the acting out for attention is still strong and soo hard to deal with. I feel like most of my day is saying no and correcting behaviors which is exhausting. Im trying to ignore most of them and just get him involved in special activities to help give him the attention he needs. Hang in there, this time is exhausting but will pass.

He might be feeling replaced so he’s changing everything about him to get your attention even negative attention, I only have 1 but will have 1 on the way and have been doing a lot of research and asking everyone I know for advice to try to help my little one adjust , i’ve learned to try to include the toddler in with the baby like oh go, bring me a diaper and can you shake his bottle? And I’ve been told that if toddlers is crying and baby is crying to go to toddler first if you can.

Your toddler might sense your irritation and wanting distance which is causing him distress but he may not understand why or how to process it. So he is clingy and loud to get your attention because he notices the shift once new baby came home.

Irritation is normal but try to remove yourself and calm down-(even if he is upset) before blowing up at him because his nervous system will remember and may worsen his behavior later.

Maybe dedicate an activity that is simple for you, and just for you & him that he can look forward to and maybe not fight so much for attention otherwise.

Hopefully as time passes you’ll all settle in and the hormones will balance out.🥰

Each of my kids have reacted differently to a new addition. My oldest didn’t take it too hard with our second but was terrified we would leave. When our third came they both acted out but whoa my second born lost his marbles. He would come out and scream bloody murder if I was holding the baby. He was mad because he wanted all of me and didn’t want to share. It was a very trying time. My best advice is to give them as much love and attention as you can but you have to set boundaries.