No common sense
My spouse is very slow he gets mad at me when I correct him on things pertaining my child but I can’t sit and watch you handle my child like you don’t know what ur doing my baby has dry skin i always lotion his skin after a bath he doesn’t , he got the wrong formula for the baby , he does not know how to comfort our child and even said “ boys don’t cry” one day in response and even though my baby can’t understand him it made me so upset that that was his first response I don’t want my child to grow up and act like his dumb ass daddy I love him but the way he acts is no help I’m a sahm rn and even when he comes home it’s no help cause he’s dumb asf I’ve expressed this to him and still no change what do I do ?
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I feel you, I'm in similar position, my husband is very slow, has issues with settling down our baby too. Never puts a nappy cream on. Sometimes common sense is missing...the other day he was preparing dinner - chopping few veggies for 2 hours and once I came I had to finish this off anyway. I also had an appointment, so had to leave house without food.
There were also few comments which infuriated me in the past. It took a hard conversation and bit of upset on both sides to clear things out.
I also had to realise, that because all the hormones, I am way less tolerant to him and much easily irritated. It comes naturally to us, but not to them.
He is amazing dad, just struggles with the baby stage. And sometimes it is a man thing, they do not go to so many details as we do and what is common sense for us, isn't for them. Before leaving, I'd suggest to weigh things up. Is he trying to help? Maybe he is doing his best at the moment. Is he bonding with the baby? Is he getting involved? Is he looking after you?
you said “my child” I feel like you need to give him slack because no one is going to take care of the baby exactly like you do even if he is the father. some men just need more help than others and you have to think about how this man was raised and if this is his first child then he’s taking what he was taught from his own child hood. he’s not dumb i think he just needs more time to learn the baby .. it’s different with mothers and fathers we carry them for 9 months so we already have an immediately bond with them that’s 9 months more experience from birth than the fathers just keep that in mind.
This may sound silly but, so he can help you would it help to write it all out and stick it on the fridge so that he can take responsibility without feeling like he's always doing it wrong... example
Wake up: milk 5oz
Breakfast 9am: cereal and fruit
Nap 12am
Wake up and lunch 1:30pm: toast, fruit, yogurt
You get the picture..
You could also do the same for routines.
Morning routine: wake up, change nappy, drink milk.
Bed time routine: eat dinner, have a bath, brush teeth, milk
Bath time routine: wash hair with X shampoo, wash body with X, dry off, lotion with X, vest, PJ'S
I know it seems ridiculous but, maybe some guidance to refer will help and it could be a few mins work for alot more happiness?
With the crying thing... thats dumb, it would annoy me too but, tell him its dumb and then move on from it and wait to see if anything else is said.
I personally don't agree with calling it a day and breaking up before you've exhausted options of improvement.
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