Is it depression or rage?

I had postpartum depression and anxiety with my first and it had never gone away. But I was able to manage it with communication support with my spouse and getting a ESA. After my second, I feel like I have more rage than depression. And I hate getting to point where my rage comes out and it’s like something over controls me and I lash out with yelling and harsh words that no children should hear. Yet my oldest (who’s 6) tells me everyday how much he loves me and that I am the best mom ever. And my 4 month old still constantly wants me and smiles at me, but yet I see the fear and sadness into their eyes when I lash out. They don’t happen all the time but damn they happen more than I like to admit. Tonight I lashed out cause my baby wouldn’t stop crying and cause of that I lashed out, made him cry more out of fear, and hit my wrist on the wall (causing self inflicted pain instead) and like I snap out of it but I think I broke something and I tried to talk to my husband about it, but he just looks at me like he doesn’t know what to do or say. I feel like a horrible mom and that I can’t be stable for my babies, but I don’t also want to get back on medication (personal reasons). Oh! And because I am lashing out and such, my ESA animal is terrified of me if my husband isn’t around. Like how does that make me feel? 😭

If this sounds like you, please help me what has worked for you?

I have been trying to get outside more and exercise more which seems to help but I don’t know feels like I can do more.

in our community

Anyone else feel like as soon as their baby turned 8m old they are acting like a completely different baby? She's become noticeably more difficult as far as behavior.

Please tell me what your experience is with your 8m old.

Postpartum hair loss

Let’s see it ladies.
You’ve got to laugh or you’ll cry, let’s be honest 🤣

Edit: this is what I caught in the shower and does not include anything that went down the plug, anything that stayed on my comb, anything still attached to my body when I got out or anything that was still in the bath when I was done ✌️.

Sex after having a baby

How long did you leave it till you had sex again after having your baby?

Help!!!!

Someone please help me with some advice because I’m losing my absolute mind 😭
Baby is 5 months old, she has changed a lot in personality over the last month, more needy, sleep changes etc but have put it down to the 4 month regression and teething.
However, the problem that makes me want to literally cry is the car seat! She is totally inconsolable now every time she’s in the car. Why? And what can I do to help it?!

In the trenches 🫠

My baby is almost 4 months, she was always so happy and smiley but recently she SQUEALS!!! if she’s not squealing, she’s crying, no matter what we do.

When we pick her up, she wants to move every two seconds and stiffens up and screams at us to move her, in the car, play gym, in her swing chair.. it’s relentless!!!

Anybody else experienced this?? I’m worried (although I hope not!) that because I never let her “self soothe” and responded to every sound she’s made that I may have spoiled her like people said and I laughed at?

Pic of my usually smiley girl so we don’t get lost 🩷

Who is in the same boat?

FTM to a 7 week old who has been incredibly chilled up to now bar problems with wind. From 6 weeks old he has been crying none stop and will only soothe with contact naps. I am unable to put him down and even on me he seems to wake up screaming crying for no apparent reason. He is absolutely fine at night but day times are a different story and he seems to go through a cry - feed - contact nap - cry- feed cycle until he goes down at night. I know this must be a phase but I am STRUGGLING. is anyone else going through the same thing?