My daughter asked me why no one loves me
The question caught me off guard and I asked what she meant and she said she overheard my parents talking about how much they hate me, and saying that the whole family only keeps me around to have a relationship with my daughter. I knew this already, of course. They’ve said as much to my face. But I guess they thought she was sleeping when she stayed the night there last night and she heard adult conversation she wasn’t supposed to hear.
For context, my parents are narcissistic and I don’t give in to their need for control. They flex money over my siblings for obedience, and I never wanted that lifestyle. I moved out when I was 17 and I’ve been independent ever since. I’m not a bad person, I just wanted space to make my own mistakes and learn for myself, but they’re very caught up in reputation and outwards appearances.
I scared this will change how my daughter sees me. I am a single mom, and I’m doing my best for her. I have enough mom guilt as is, and hearing my child ask why no one loves me really hurt. She’s repeated things they said before about me, but it’s always been passive jabs not something so blunt.
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I think you’re setting the perfect example of not giving into narcissists trying to control your life and living life how you want to live! It’s a very good lesson for your daughter. Your siblings sound like people pleasers and are motivated by money, you sound like you have integrity and morals. Head up! 🥰
Honestly I have been using my narc mom’s behaviors as a teaching example about red flags. Granted my mom is dead now but using my family as an example of narc behavior and why it’s a red flag has been great tool to teach my kids about red flags. But also I personally would not let my kid go over there anymore because of what the child can hear from them. Going no contact and explaining why is again a good tool to role model what behavior is acceptable and what you will or won’t allow in your life. Because your child too will find narcissistic people as she grows up. Might as well start showing her now how to respond to them.
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