Freaking out

Is it something you want? Ultimately the choice is yours - but I find children a blessing it doesn’t matter about your age, I’m 36 just had my second baby my oldest is 8 years old 🩷

I prayed it would be negative. I would have loved it if I were younger but I feel too old and I've no idea how the logistics will work. I love my children more than anything so I know as soon as I see a scan I will be in love but I'm really terrified. Also I'm worried how family will react.

I had my second and last at 43! Very healthy. I'm sure you will be so in love with your baby when you see the scan just like you said. I know it's a lot to wrap your head around right now it hasn't even sunk in yet! I know a lady who had a "menopause baby" at 52!!!! 😮

52?! Wow. I just can't believe I'm in this situation. I feels a lot to be on my own, when I can share with family it might feel less heavy....unless they take it badly of course.

I'm praying they react positively!

I had a surprise at 43. He is 1 in April. I was so shocked when I found out. My other boy is almost 13. He adores my little one.
I wouldn't change a thing. I believe he was sent to me for a reason and is one of the most wonderful gifts. Also my whole family adore him.
I hope my story helps you.

I’m 42 and 18 weeks pregnant I would probably feel the same way but I also have a 14 month old soooo I’m in baby stage now so why not good luck I hope it all works out the way you want.

I get not wanting anymore children, but I guess I don’t understand why the big scare or why you think your family would take it badly?
You do realize that it’s extremely common to have babies through our forties? Most of us don’t hit menopause until the fifties. I myself am 43 w/ a 16 & 4yo & am kinda thinking about having a 3rd & don’t feel rushed about it in the slightest. I do understand it can be a shock when you did everything to avoid pregnancy, heck, my hubs is my 2nd marriage & 13yrs older than me, I didn’t care about his age when I asked him out, he’s just a wonderful human that I could see myself growing older with, but I was also content being a one & done & he wasn’t supposed to be able to produce babies, so we didn’t bother to avoid pregnancies, 9yrs in we got a huge surprise, thankfully by that time I had seen what kind of father he was & we were both shocked & thrilled, that we were going to start over again at 39 & 51, it’s been amazing though.

I don't think i did realise that pregnancies in 40s was as common as it is, my friend group mostly had their babies young so I always already felt older, same at school. I'm nervous about it being higher risk, and not having as much energy. Family have made joking comments about not having anymore kids, mainly re childcare. I just didn't think I'd be here again. I'm worried money will be tight, the house won't feel big enough. All things we'll just have to deal with though.

It’s sooooo common now to wait to have kids we grew up with ppl having kids at 16 and 19 but now it’s like 35-40 I think it’s pretty awesome honestly

I had my first in October at 42! Pregnancy was super easy and I loved every second of it! As long as the universe allows it, I’ll have another around 45 (we did ivf so I have 5 healthy embryos on ice) - enjoy the ride if this is what you want, your older kids will love their baby sibling 💕

I was 42 when I had my baby. Healthy pregnancy, healthy baby!

I had twins at 43 and although it was rough, I'm here to tell
About it. They are 19 months now.:)
What you're feeling is normal. I went through that too and I still feel so old to have toddlers. So you're not alone and you can manage it. You've had others before so you'll see that you already know so much about babies that the only thing is you may be more tired than with the first 2. That's how I feel. Ugh. It'll be ok though.🙏😊

Thank you for your comments, you're all very reassuring. I had a meltdown after going to buy folic acid and found myself driving straight to my mam's to offload. If anything I think she was relieved I didn't have a life threatening illness or something. It feels better to have told someone in person. It's just such a shock.

You are gonna do great!!! I am 41.5 and infertile and envious, I would start all over with more kids If I could. Your kids are going to be amazing siblings and it’ll all make sense. I’m sorry you have to fret alone for a bit…❤️💜

I was starting to get my head around this. Told parents & my best friend and felt reassured. But tonight my husband has told me he doesn't want another baby and he had been planning on telling me he wanted to separate. So now I'm looking at being alone with 3 kids and I'm terrified. I don't think I can cope with this. I don't know what to do.

Thank you for your kind words and advice. This is really the hardest thing I've ever been through. I can't eat which worries me because it's not good for the baby.

I just want to say, when I found out I was pregnant and said I was keeping him. My other half threw me out.
But my family and friends were amazing. And my old boy adores him. He was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I was a mess when I found out. But I wouldn't change a thing. It's hard early on. But us women are so strong

Reading this post and comments has been interesting. You start off being scared and sick at the thought of another child, yet not wanting to reach out to your husband who was out of town.

You seem to have gotten reassurance from your mom/parents and best friend and felt reassured.

Now you’re feeling protective/worried about the baby’s health regarding food intake.

While I’m sure you know you have the option of not having this child, it sounds like you know you want to keep the baby.

It also sounds like perhaps you were aware of issues between you and your husband as well - hence your hesitation to reach out to him even though you needed support.

He was voicing his opinions and fears about having this unplanned child, and you had fears and worries too.

I don’t see villains, here. Only choices that need to be made, with honesty and compassion.