Dad's New Girlfriend

She can be called a nickname instead, like gigi or mimi or coco

I’m in a similar situation to you, my mum passed away 5 years ago and I have a 14 month old and another little one on the way. My dad started dating his now wife 3 weeks after my mum passed away.

I must say it’s slightly different, my mum was an alcoholic and my childhood was very abusive so to me, it was a strange relief when she passed, I think for my dad too (hence he moved on so quickly).

My step mum never called herself grandma/nanny etc until we started saying it to our son. She loves him as if he were her own bio grandchild which is lovely.

I don’t know if it’s a conversation I would have had with my dad, whether she would be known as grandma or not and there’s no way he should be expecting his new wife to be called grandma. No one will replace your own mother.

My partner lost his mum when he was a teenager and we talk about her all the time and she is known as granny when we speak about her.

I do think hormones can play a big role in this too

If you thinking about how much your body is changing and everything you have to think about in general.

I hope for you that it gets better when baby is here - but don’t put pressure on yourself into thinking she has to be known as anything to your little one other than her name.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk more🙂

Also lost my mom before my kids came along but my dad has never met anyone else and I don’t think he ever will. If it was me and I did get on well with her and she’s a reasonable person then I would just have that conversation. I would explain that of course you want her in your child’s life and it’s important to you how she’s made your dad happy again etc but just say it’s hard to think of your child calling her nanny/grandma etc when it should have been your mom getting to experience that. Maybe see if there’s another nickname you’d both be happy with little one calling her. I’m sure hormones are a big part of it and maybe she is just trying to be supportive of her partners daughter but you know more than we do so obviously if could be something else! 🫶🏽

It could also be hormones making everything more wild though. I found my in-laws really annoying until about 6 months pp, and we had a good relationship pre pregnancy, and it's now calmed down for me again.

Similar to you, their interest kinda drove me nuts for no apparent reason.

Been in a similar situation we choose peace over pettiness. Father-in-laws mistress became his wife. We reminded her that both of our mothers are in Heaven so we will be talking about them a lot. We have to remind father-in-law that our daughter doesn't get any genetics from his wife but his first wife, the mother of his children. I feel like he forgets that a lot smh.

But I would have a conversation with her and set boundaries or tell her that you're grieving not doing this with your mother. You appreciate her being there but it's something you always thought your mother would be there for. See how you work it out together.

i had the exact same situation but it was my dad who passed away. I sat my mum down and explained how I was feeling. She was fine with it (i think she expected the conversation at some point to be honest) and she understood and that her boyfriend would understand how I was feeling to. They said they didn’t mind if he was called anything at all and that my daughter could just call him by his first name. Once I got everything off my chest, i felt a weight had been lifted and I came up with the nickname “Bibi” (we all call my mum’s boyfriend Mikey B) for my daughter to call him. He was made up and now my daughter is here, they have a great relationship which Im thankful for 🥰

For me, things felt better once I shifted the perspective of focusing on the sadness of not having my dad physically here to see my daughter to seeing how lucky my daughter is to have so many people both still here and who’ve passed away that love her so much and will be part of her life 🫶🏼

To me it sounds like hormones and grief of not being able to share this milestone with your mom.

My experience as being the next wife, we try to learn about you to show we care. My stepson's mom passed when he was young, and his father and I started hanging out as friends first, as he was my BIL friend so I knew of the situation. Our relationship did grow quickly, and its been over 10 years now since her passing. My stepson's is now a dad, named his baby after his mom, and for me one of the first things I asked was "what do you want to be called?" He felt it right to call me grandma, and I couldn't be happier. I love her as my own. My own girls call my SS's grandparents, grandma and grandpa, because they too also welcomed me with open arms after the passing of their daughter. Never have I discouraged talking about her. Its a hard situation but one that cab be discussed after the pregnancy with your dad and his GF. And if not, just call her her name, when you are ready she can later be called grandma.

I don’t feel close to my stepmum and my kids call her by her name 🤷🏾‍♀️
As long as they are not disrespectful I don’t think it matters what they call her xx

It’s your hormones and the grief talking. You are trying to be happy with this pregnancy but also envisioning a baby not ever knowing your mum ( only through the stories you tell baby). And I think that grief is showing towards your dads new girlfriend as it should be your mum seeing baby with your dad not the girlfriend x

Different perspective. My bonus daughter’s mother passed away not even a year into my relationship with her dad my now husband. I was the first one there when she got the call because I was the closest and I’m sure i was probably the last person she wanted to see at that moment. I love that girl as my own. Junior prom, senior prom, graduation, college. It was all things I was there for but damn I wish her mom could have been there. My point is generally speaking as a bonus parent we know. We want your mom there just as much as you do. We understand we can never replace her nor do we want to. We want to be there for you as much as you’ll allow. We are excited about all your milestones. We are proud. Talk to her, let her know how you feel as it’s completely normal. She’ll understand ❤️