I’m a ftm (just started the third trimester) and I’ve been trying to give my fiancée the benefit of the doubt most of my pregnancy since I know I’m hormonal and maybe I’m hard on him.
But today I got really sick at work and had to come home early. I vomited at work, in the uber home, and when I got home. My fiancée knows I feel horrible yet as soon as I get home he doesn’t even ask me about what’s been going on he just immediately starts venting to me about some bullshit drama with his friends. I asked him to get me some water and he took the cup and got on a phone call with a friend and just left me in the bedroom to vomit and cry by myself. When I started sobbing and asked if he could please make me a priority he gave me attitude.
I’m so sick of the lack of empathy. I hate having to ask someone that’s supposed to care about me to put in a little effort and take care of his future wife and unborn child. I’m getting to a point where fantasizing about abandoning him and becoming a single mom brings me a sense of relief. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for a little attention and care when you’re pregnant and violently ill. I hate him so much.
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I did too. Bc the reality is our lives are totally changed and their life has stayed exactly the same. Nothing's changed for him and yet you're being used and abused by your body and brain. It's so unfair! What you're feeling is exactly right. But from my experience, once he's suffering with the newborn (if he's working at least as hard as you at parenting), the feeling will go away eventually.
Make sure you don't accept any excuses from him though once baby is here. No "I don't know how" or "can you hold the baby so I can pee". Equal effort from him and nothing less. Or else the resentment will only grow.
Hang in there.
And go demand a foot rub.

Oh mama breathe, take care of yourself. Do some pregnancy yoga, when your muscles stretch and relax so does your nervous system, if they dont relax your nervous system stays on a higher level of exhaustion and vulnerability and sensitivity. Yes I believe you that he should have given you more attention and taken care if you, but if your nervous system was on a calmer level, you wouldnt have felt so bad to think you hate him. Men really truly process emotions so differently, nothing at all like us. You literally need to teach them sometimes but they will only absorb you when their own mental state is in the right place, and their own nerves system is at a calm level. It takes not just maturity but really self care on both sides. A lot of self care. Which is actually just going to get harder for you after having a baby. But keep trying to prioritize yourself, your body whenever you can. A massage isnt just to make you feel good, it settles your nervous system as well!