I feel like my husband doesn’t desire me sexually

I’m currently pregnant with twins and I’m very hormonal. Last night I walked into the bathroom and caught him jerking off to an Instagram thirst trap. When we’ve had sex recently I can’t make him cum and eventually get too tired so he finishes by jerking off next to me. He doesn’t ever make an attempt to eat me out, I can only recall him doing it once and he did not enjoy it. He doesn’t do any foreplay and just tries to stick it in dry. He just start hammering fast and hard without working up to it. And I find myself disassociating during sex because it’s just about what he likes and not me. I will give him blow jobs but it’s never reciprocated. I’ve bought sex toys in the past to try and spice things up and connect better sexually but he wasn’t into it. Today I mentioned the idea of an open relationship. I just can’t keep feeling undesired and that he doesn’t put effort into making sure I am enjoying our sex life. He said he didn’t want that. I’m just at a loss because it’s been like this on and off for years. Other than sex our relationship is good, he’s a caring husband and a great father. I just don’t feel sexy or wanted anymore. My ex and I were in a toxic relationship but our sex life was amazing and I just can’t help but want to feel desired like that and have that kind of sex again.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Hi, my love, I understand how you feel. But can you please communicate things with him and how it makes you feel, and you can also suggest sex therapies. I'm here if you need anyone to talk to♥️🙏🏽

Thank you. I’ve been researching different sex therapies and workshop I haven’t yet talked to him about it but will try to bring it up.

I agree with Aramide. Sounds strange but my FIL always says “communication is the lubrication of every relationship”.

If I’m being honest I have a fear of my husband choosing to jerk off over having sex with me… I don’t blame you.

Ladies, I created a WhatsApp group where no one communicates, and I did it for one of these reasons ( to talk about sex, marriage, and help each other). You can send me a message if interested

Hmm, it actually sounds like he has a 🌽 addiction. It’s something he will need help with. I’m sorry your going through this esp now while your pregnant.

Does he have any sexy photos and vids of you? Have you ever sent them? My hubby has a whole hidden folder on his phone that’s full of me- pics, videos, and recordings during our sex that he’s taken of him behind, me on top etc I know if he ever masturbates then he’s got something of me to masturbate to. If you’ve never sent anything to him then he really doesn’t have that option of having you on his phone. He’s got heaps but he still asks for new ones and loves receiving new ones esp when I’ve bought new lingerie or me in a new dress. He might be at work and I’ll send him a vid or pic of me in a skirt no undies and he speeds home to get to me lol. Do foreplay w him over the phone- sext sometimes, send him some kinky msgs or photos

in our community

In need of friends

I truly need friends to talk, vent and chat with whether it be text call or FaceTime I feel so alone even though I have people around me and my partner isn’t really being a partner in this time

Lost friends since being a mum

Good morning! Can anyone relate to this!

My two friends and me have always been close since our early teens. I’m the first to have a baby.

One friend has big house, career and boyfriend

Other out of a long term relationship and being single having fun etc

Before baby we would all hang at my
Apartment, chat eat and just have
Fun.

Now I don’t even get a text to ask how my baby is, how I am. I really thought they would be awesome aunties. But honestly they don’t care.

They meet up a lot to do cool things, which I can’t be upset about as I can’t as I have my baby.

I don’t know I feel sad about it.

Am I over reacting?

Mom/bestie/hg

Looking for mommy friends ! South Jersey areas (Philly too)

Mom of two soon to be wife. Pisces ♓️ True crime junkie and Harry Potter fan! I love all music country /rap/r&b and inconsistent in the gym 😂

Can’t see waves just message me and be yourself!

Work + baby?

Hi everyone I’m a struggling mom needing to go back to work but trying to avoid sending my baby to daycare I’m desperately trying to find work I can do with my baby as I won’t have any one I trust to babysit. If anyone knows anything please reach out. I just want my baby to be safe but living in this economy with one income is just impossible. Please fellow moms im begging for anything!

Advice

Ok so I had this friend and she would always talk about how it was so embarrassing to post your face on tinder or any kind of dating/friendship platform because it makes you look desperate. This has stuck with me soo much over the years, I always post anonymously. I really want a friend just 1 friend that I can go out n do stuff with and we just click but I refuse to post my face on any friendship platform, also because I might see someone I know and I literally HATE the idea of that. I feel so stuck, because I’m not the type of person to go out a lot I go to work and come home and when I do go out to parks and stuff there’s literally never any moms that try to strike up conversation. I really wanna get on bumble bff to try it out but it makes it to where you have to post your face. PLEASEEE any advice would help. I get bumble bff go through the people and then I delete it within like 5 minutes because I see someone I know.

Feeling stupid

I got drunk last night and had unprotected sex he didn’t cum in me but I’m ovulating
And having pain and I’m freaking out

Can I take morning after pill when already ovulating/ ovulated
And is there any safe for breastfeeding