i need advice but PLS DON'T JUDGE!!!
last night i had a dream, i always used to dream my partner cheating on me with my friends, or being super mean, but since we had our baby those dreams disappeared. for context, we haven't been able to have sex yet, I'm 12 weeks pp, and my pelvic floor is so tense, and it's awful.
last night i had a VERY weird dream, it was so realistic, and different from others, he handed me his phone, and ask me to help him handle this girl, like annoyed? in the chat this girl was super obsessive, and messaged him a lot before he replied. she asked him to sing a song to her, and he sent her a voice message singing it, and other voice messages i couldn't listen in the dream. i wrote her to stop, and she was angry, telling me he started it. then i confronted him about this (still in the dream) and he changed his attitude, he seemed so guilty and said to me he had deleted some messages. i don't remember much else, but i woke up with the URGE of checking his insta messages. we've been together for 5 years, and I've never checked his phone, and neither has he (that i know if, at least) and contained myself, but I'm still very much concerned about it. it felt like an epiphany, a revelation or smth like that. I know people might think I'm overreacting but i can't get it out of my head, it was so specific.
i though about asking him to show me, but i know he'll be bothered that i don't trust him (i would be too in his place), but if he's cheating he would say that to make me feel bad. also i thought about checking his phone in his sleep, and then ask him to see his reaction, but feel so bad, i wouldn't like if he went through my phone without asking, even tho I have nothing to hide.
please, be kind!!
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.it's pretty much an "is it anxiety or is it my intuition?" kinda situation

I’ve had a dream that predicted an event before, but some dreams are just nonsense. If it stood out and you believe it’s your intuition trying to tell you something, then you should definitely ask to check his phone. If he refuses then that should be enough to go off of.

This is crazy

I would start a conversation with him about how you had a really weird dream that has put you on edge and you are needing some reassurance and support because it's making you feel a little crazy/uneasy/uncomfortable/whatever you think describes the feeling best. I believe that would be the best way to go about it without sounding like you are accusing him of anything or that you don't trust him. Therefore it should spark a healthy conversation instead of triggering a defensive reaction

Just tell him about the dream say it felt so real and see how he reacts..

Explain everything about the dream and ask him if you can just check to help your mentals if it really is eating at you. Its understandable that hormones can just be overwhelming and sometimes you cant just shake off a dream that feels so overwhelmingly REAL. But I had a lot of crazy dreams while I was pregnant and my boyfriend was always more on the understanding/wanting to ease my mind mentality of things than being annoyed and defensive. Just be open. Communication is best then being all sneaky, that'll only start arguments that maybe didnt even need to happen

If you have no reason in real life to not trust him then don’t read too much into it, it’s just a dream, I have the occasional dream like that and wake up in a bad mood and always laugh it off after I’ve told my partner about it, for me think it just comes from a fear of it ever happening but I have no reason not to trust him, he’s never given me a reason not to. I always have dreams random people are pregnant, 1 in probably 20 have turned out to be true, most of the times it’s just a big accumulation of content I’ve been seeing, people I’ve been speaking to, conversations I’ve been having and they just make up a scenario in my dream. If it were the other way round, I’d be really upset if my partner woke up from a dream and accused me of cheating on him and snooped on my phone because of it.

I believe dreams can be messages from God revealing things to us BUT some dreams are from our subconscious. I usually say if you can remember the dream then it’s a message of some sort.
I’ve had cheating dreams in the past & more times than not they were cheating. I had one every night for 3 months but couldn’t find anything when going through his phone until I went to his email. If you’re on dating apps they will email you. It was in his spam.
Not saying he is just giving my experience.
When I did get a dream like that I always prayed asking for confirmation. If it was just a dream I asked for peace & the anxiety to leave.
You could go to him. Tell him you had a dream leaving you anxious. Tell him the dream & see his reaction. If after he starts to get secretive or standoffish then maybe just maybe.

Dreams are usually due to unresolved conflict in your life/mind. That being said, hormones are wiiiiild during pregnancy and after until they stabilize. The fact that you haven't been intimate in a few months might raise some internal concerns that if he doesn't get it from you, he'll find it elsewhere. This could be your psyche picking up on cues that he's been letting off, or just your own insecurities showing through. I'm not saying to jump into things and give him what he wants before you're ready yourself, but a simple conversation could help ease your mind. This is a very tumultuous time for you, and as long as he reassures you and respects that, I wouldn't worry. However if he tries to initiate and constantly acts annoyed or angry about it, there might be something to look in to. Be up front about your feelings if you are truly concerned. Intimacy isn't just sex. It could also be you are deprived yourself, and thinking he must feel the same. Women are much more emotional than men, it's simply natural.

If he’s never lied or cheated on you, it’s coming from a personal insecurity issue that i wouldn’t project on him. If he’s cheated or lied to you in the past, it makes total sense to want to go through his phone because there’s no trust.

If it were me I’d tell him the whole dream and joke about how you kinda wanna see his phone now
3
10

1
7

4
1
14

6
4