Need baby daddy advice

I am a single new mom with a 2 month old and the baby dad acts like we don't exist. Am not sure how to keep it short but I'll try.
We were seeing eachother, had sex once and I got pregnant. As soon as I knew we had a mature, adult conversation while on a walk and the impression I got was that we both really understood each others perspectives,but he stated that doesn't want to be a father. I didn't have any expectations of him plus I wasn't sure then what I am actually going to do.. But I really wanted to be a mother and I was always open about that.
Anyways, we move and he becomes more and more distant.. where I feel like I try to keep the communication and literally force him to talk to me about how he feels.. I eventually give up, reading the room.
He messaged me out the blue asking me what I decided about the pregnancy and that he is stuck in a 'limbo' so I send him a 6 minute video of explaining how I feel and that my decision is to be a mother and let myself be. He didn't respond... then for months he is the first one to view all my stories, when he heart reacted one of them I messaged him frustrated whether he is doing it on accident and that my 6 minute video got ignored and I feel dismissed. He just said that he can be glad that I am happy and that in his opinion he said all that there is to say...
He continued viewing my stories until recently where I limited his access because of how much it was frustrating me that he is not saying anything about her being his daughter 😢😫
And now I don't know what to do. Some say I should ask for child maintenance, some say to just leave him be.. and am just so annoyed at him for acting like this... Just for info he is a 38 year old uni professor with a Dr title 🙃

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

So sorry you are going through this. I kinda wish my sons dad wouldnt bother as hes a liability. .
Anhyhow, is he on the birth certificate? (Im assuming not) if he isnt on there i dont thinknyou can actually claim child support from him as he technically has no PR, if he is on there then yes go ahead and get child support.
If hes not fussed about being in her life then honestly id leave it be and let him crack on as hes clearly not a Man. And to be honest it will be easier to raise her without him in background x

Avatar

It is hard being torn on what to do. Basically from what he said he’s saying he’s happy for you when he saw the posts but he’s sticking to not wanting to be a dad . I’m so sorry but eventually u will know what you want to do. A lot of ppl do say it’s a blessing not having to deal with difficult coparent but it still hurts so I understand. It feels a like a big rejection/abandonment.

Avatar

Put him on child support! No if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. My now husband stepped up when I got pregnant even though being a dad wasn’t his plan. I mean he busted his ass and sacrificed everything for my daughter and I. When i asked him once why he stepped up for us the way he did he said that he believed in responsibility and accountability. He chose to have sex with me so he accepted the possibility of having a baby and that adults don’t run from their actions they embrace them. This is not a soapbox about my husband. This is just to illustrate the point that if a man and a woman create a baby together neither one of them gets to just walk away like nothing happened. Fair is fair. Why should only some men have to support their children? It’s ultimately your decision but I strongly believe the best thing for you and your daughter is to get a DNA test ordered and request child support immediately.

Avatar

Have you tried acting like HE doesn’t exist?

Avatar

Not in a sense of caring about him just simply thinking how unfair his behaviour is

Avatar

I messaged him 😖🙃

Avatar

In man years 38 is mentally very young. Being book smart doesn’t make them life smart. He did say he doesn’t want a baby and if you have decided to keep it then it’s very unfair to try to force him to be involved. Now, he could very well be trying to work through the emotions of it all which I know men tend to do by distancing themselves, is it the best approach? Absolutely not. But it’s a reality. If I were you I’d give him the space and distance myself from him till he comes around. If by then you don’t want him in the picture then, even better.

I’d only say yes to putting him on child support IF and only IF you cannot do it alone financially. But as I said. You cannot force a baby on a man xx

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

A gift for my son 4 years in the making, 14 years to go

I started this avocado tree from a seed the week my oldest was due with the idea of gifting it to him as a birthday gift for his 18th birthday. So when he’s old enough to move out he has a mature tree that hopefully can fruit.

I’ve had it in a bottle with water and fish tank water as fertilizer from the beginning and it’s still growing new length, branches, and leaves every year.

I cannot wait to give it to him when he’s older but I’m so attached to it I’ll be sad to see it go 😂

Avatar

5

7

Keep pushing

60 min work out on the peloton treadmill.

Avatar

6

8

New friends ???

Hey! I live in Sparta, Tn, and would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have friends near me, long distance is absolutely okay too, I could really use company on some days.

Avatar

3

7

Stay at home mom friends?

Hey! I love talking to anyone however lately I find myself desperately wanting a best friend close near me. I like to be goofy and randomly break out singing or dancing. I almost always have a crazy idea in my head that ends up in a laughing fit or a genuinely good time. Any moms near Westfield/Carmel Indiana?

Ps I almost always have snacks and caffeine handy 👀😅

Avatar

3

3

Relationships

What should you do almost 3 yrs in a relationship. And have a almost 4 month old baby together we are not happy anymore with each other. I ask him why stay he said he hope things work out. But it hurts me more. I dont want to seems im staying for our son. I just dont know if I can do this anymore.

Avatar

1

6

Hi future Besties

I am new here I'm 31 years old and I am looking for some friends that are not two-faced and can be straight up with me.

Avatar

2

9

Read more on Peanut