Confronting Cheating

I am 11week pregnant rn. He confronted this infidelity of past two years. He mentioned sleeping with 7 different women. It’s was when he traveled and hung out with his friends. And he decided to tell when I was pregnant. He counter blamed me. He said he dint cheat on me, he was not trying to hurt me, in fact he was the one getting hurt so he did what he did.

My in law are also very mean, controlling & intrusive. Which adding to all the stress. Also I have 0 support from own family. And I am immigrant and I have no friends in LA/USA.

He say he wants to fix the relationship for the baby. But his words and actions don’t line up. He ignores me, doesn’t try to keep me happy. And he lives in his own world of escape.

I feel so stuck. I feel like I have no where to go. I feel like this baby is suffering and I am failing to give him/her a safe environment. I am financially dependent.
I don’t know where to start from. Forgive for the baby. But he keeps on hurting me by ignoring me, never actively listening, stone walling me, I feel like I talking to walls, etc.

He never showed up to any ultrasound & ignores my calls.

I feel I am going crazy day by day & losing my sense of self and grounding. I have been gaslit for all these years that I can’t understand the difference between reality n my thoughts.

I want to leave him but how do I do it ???
Please help me to draw an action plan to leave him and build an independent life.
It’s so hard to even leave cus he keeps me trapped… if I want to leave he guilt trips into staying by crying and if I stay he shows 0 interest/efforts in doing the very basic work that a relationship needs..

Plus I keep getting flashbacks of the cheating and all the lies of all these years I feel I am such a fool to not notice anything while everything was happening right in front of me… I am in shock !!! N it’s so hard to cope with this trust… I don’t even know if he is lying about cheat just to hurt me & to make me leave or is he actually tell me the truth...?

It’s so hard for me to see through things & his intentions !!!!

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Phone Friends 📱 🧡

I’m looking to connect with some like-minded people who don’t mind talking on the phone while we tackle our to-do lists. I have ADHD, and I find it really helpful to have someone to “body double” with—just chatting while we work helps me stay focused and actually get things done.

If you’re someone who likes productive phone calls, working alongside a friend (even virtually), or just wants a new accountability buddy, I’d love to connect! 💛

Useless

I want to change career when I go back to work I’ve been saying it since ive been pregnant and my baby is now 5 months old. The problem is I don’t know what to do and my partner is nagging at me constantly saying you don’t want to do anything there’s nothing you like when ever he suggests a course that’s going to save us money or bring in money and it’s really getting me down making me useless. I’m just content don’t have any hobbies, not into jewellery, clothes, bags etc like most girls.
But it’s making me feel bad because he’s a lorry driver working 60+ hours a week and I’m not putting anything in to help him out.

Loneliness

I didn’t know whether to write this or not, as I really don’t even know what to do at this point. I’ve been really struggling with the constant feeling of loneliness and just feeling like the whole world is just going past and I’m not even apart of it anymore.

I have friends that I have lost since becoming a mum or even major shifts in friendships. I’ve got 1 mum friend who is amazing and I’m so thankful for her.

However, I can’t help but feel this constant loneliness. I just feel like no one gets it and no one can see it. I try and open up. But no one seems to understand.

I find it really hard to make friends I have done all my life. But now I’m finding it especially hard. I have joined in with baby groups in the local area and yet everyone is already friends or in the clicks. I find when I start conversations it’s shut down very quickly. I just honestly can’t stand it.

Everything is just building up on top of me and it’s really starting to affect my mental health.
I honestly don’t know what to do

Am I weird?

I like the thought of my partner cheating/being intimate with another women. I wouldn’t say it’s a fetish but it’s enough for me to get off on it if I wanted to.

Do I test my partners loyalty or leave?

I don’t trust my partner and I think he maybe cheating. I’ve had my suspicions also things has happened in the past (messaging girls, been on dating sites, only fans etc) anyway I’ve tried going on his phone but his password has changed, I’ve tried having a conversation with him but he accuses me🤯 I’m tired of all this and being made to feel worthless but I also need some clarity…

My question is would I be wrong to ask someone to message my partner and test his loyalty or just up and leave?🤔

Sex problem

Been seeing someone 3 months. We have sex once a week/couple weeks, haven’t been having that much sex. Once every week/couple weeks. And last few rimes hes not been able to get it up and when he does he cums in like 5-10 seconds. I dont know im quite a sexual person. Just not sure if its kind of turned off me abit feel bad saying that