Love my husband. Love my kids. But…

I’m 32 weeks pregnant with twins. I take care of my 4 yo, 2 yo, and 1 yo. I barely have energy to stand anymore. I cuddle and watch movies with my kids all day at this point. My husband is less pushy in this pregnancy in wanting to be touched or love up on me. But I feel more like a tool these days more than ever. He gets frustrated (not to a crazy degree) but I can tell he huffs because he’s probably sexually frustrated from me not wanting to be touched on. (my boobs are super sensitive atm) I love having the babies part, but the pregnancy also now has me feeling like a baby making machine. And a tool with big boobs made for touches and my husbands pleasure. Ofc I love my husband and kids, but with my hormones all wack, it really doesn’t feel the same when you’re not turned on. It’s so hard for me to get turned on. I’m uncomfortable all the time in my own body. Babies moving in there all the time. My children cuddle me all day but get rowdy at the end of the day, so I end up getting touched out and I can get irritable when my husband tries to touch me affectionately. He doesn’t have the tact necessary for me right now, when I wish he wanted to go in for a normal comforting hug I’m let down more often than not, there is almost always a boob groping involved as well. I tried to just let him touch me last night so he could get it out of his system, but he could tell I felt tense. Wish my boobs weren’t such an uncomfortable place for me to be touched. Idk why I’m making this post. Probably just to vent. Wish men were equally as emotionally intelligent as women. Wish I didn’t feel like I still owe him something because he’s picking up a lot of the house load and yet I still need to ask him to do more before these twins arrive. He’s tired every day when he comes home, so he takes a shower sometimes works out, and helps get the kids to bed. So it’s a struggle getting him to help any further than that. Weekends are my only time to get to him. But it’s a struggle to find time on weekends too. I know if he wanted to he would. But there’s just no drive.

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Have you told him how this all makes you feel? It’s hard to feel like your body isn’t your own most of the time. And while I understand that he works hard for y’all I think it seems like he undervalues the work you do. You care for three kids and are currently making two more. You are giving so much of your physical self to this, and not just for you. For him and for your family. It seems like he thinks you owe him, at least from what you’ve said. And you do not. In any way. It is absolutely understandable that you get touched out really easily. Please don’t be hard on yourself for reaching your limit. And please be firm in your boundaries. No one is entitled to your body. Maybe try a sit down conversation once the kiddos go to bed/nap? It’s ok to come from a place of understanding that he wants intimacy and valuing that, but it’s also important for you to be clear on the kinds of intimacy you are able to participate in at the moment.

Honestly your feelings are valid. Twin pregnancy is HARD, I had twin girls so I had triple hormones my midwife said... It's so much pressure physically and mentally during a twin pregnancy, and you're on the final stretch now, it's easy to feel touched out even after a whole night sleep, which you're probably not getting because of the kids or preggo aches and pains. Is a tough time and it won't last forever, I don't think I let my husband touch me six months before the twins came up to 4 months after, forget husband's frustrations aside from your mindset, just focus on you, I'm sure he can suffice to his own 'hand' if push comes to shove on his 'frustration'. You need to express your personal space especially during this time, I know it comes from a good place of love for you, but you just have to be firm on your decision and express it well for him to understand. I'm not here to slander the husbands, they sometimes just need to understand how we're feeling... Message if you want to chat 🩷

You’ve got so much on your plate 💖 have chats with him

I get this (minus the twin pregnancy and having as many babies 😅) my husband needs physical touch and has a higher sex drive than me. He also has anxiety that he refuses to acknowledge which causes him to break down over things being imperfect and seriously messes up communicating about anything tense. I have no desire to have physical intimacy if he cant give emotional security. I love him but he has growing to do too. Onw thing that helped was asking him for one thing he could do that would help me and vice versa.

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