Struggling with perineal tear recovery

Anyone got any tips for tear recovery as I'm finding it really difficult 😭 baby was born Tuesday morning and I got a 3rd degree tear. Been on paracetamol and ibuprofen but and just so worried about the pain that I'm basically constantly clenching my bum. Lying down is the only comfortable position and sitting can be quite painful. But I can't just lie down all the time as also have a toddler so really struggling. Baby was doing quite well at side lying breastfeeding but since my milks come in she's had bad reflux so now I have to feed her sitting up which is a lot more painful. All feels a bit impossible at the moment - any advice or tips or just general reassurance that it gets better would be great ❤️

in our community

When does it get better?

I was crying on the phone with the perinatal mental health team today and the lovely lady, bless her, kept assuring me that it gets better. I kept telling her I hope so because people have been saying that since having my LO and it just feels like it keeps getting worse. She assured me it gets better....

Rant/WWYD

My sister (youngest, 24) has two kids, 4 & 1, and i (oldest, 30) just have my one who’s 6mo old right now, so i ask her for advice or call her to vent about things sometimes. Well im tired of her turning around and telling my other family members that I’m “losing my sh*t.” Literally have not lost my sh*t nor have i ever freaked out to her about my baby, i just call her to talk and tell her what stage my baby is in or talk through how im feeling, but she chooses to tell people that im like a complete nutcase or something which worries me that my family is going to start being judgmental about me as a mother or looking at me funny like I’m some fragile ticking time bomb.

What would you do in this situation? I’m already pretty much decided that I’ll stop telling her anything about my struggles, but I’m almost at the point where i feel like it should be confronted because she, of all people, should understand what I’m going through.

Not drinking

I’m going crazy. Baby born at 2.26kg. Slow to put on weight. This last week hasn’t put on any. Been trying to feed him at night and he’s not interested at all. Fast asleep. During day he will have 5 minute gulps and that’s it. He don’t cry for milk. I’ve got to keep offering to him. I try to offer it every hour but I don’t know what I’m doing. HV said nutrition comes after 5 minutes so I should pump first and then give him. I find it so hard. I tried to pump one boob nothing came. The other abit came. Tried giving him express he’s not interested in that too. Sometimes he will go for a longer a feed but not long at all. He’s 4 months and is currently 5.46kg. I have no family or friend support here and wish I had a cook, cleaner and nanny to help with everything so I can concentrate on the little one. I don’t know what’s wrong with him but I’m loosing it. It doesn’t help that my also stressed generally about my relationship and life circumstances. Any advice that will work. Any comfort you can give. I’m fed up. Is this regression - not feeding. He’s fast fast asleep. I’ve been trying to push the nipple in but that mouth is closed shut. I took some clothes off. Changed his nappy but he’s still asleep. Please help

Sleeping bag

8 week old in sleeping bag for first time as big enough! Do you feed your child in the night whilst in the sleeping bag or taken them out, feed then transfer back to sleeping bag before putting down?

Leaky nappy help

What nappies are you using to stop leaks?? We use pampers ultra dry size 5, and for the past few nights he has lashed through and we’ve had to completely change him during the night. Last night he leashed through twice!! He sleeps on his front and stays leaks through at the top of his leg where the tabs connect. Didn’t know whether to size up, he has a bit of a belly on him but he’s smack in middle of weight guidance so shouldn’t need too

Has anyone died their kids hair a fun color and have any recommendations for kid friendly hair dye that actually works and stays in the hair for a bit? 👀👀👀

She has 3b brown hair and wants kpop demon hunter purple