Feeling like a failure
Baby is 9 months old and I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. He doesn’t sleep well, never has, but I feel like it’s worse at the minute. He has never ever slept through, most he’s done is 6 hour stretch twice. Also, he is not interested in food at all despite trying and offering for the last 3 months. All babies his age seem to be eating well, yet to come across one who doesn’t.
He wakes up 5-10 times a night, normally it’s 2-4, most of the time he’ll only settle on the bottle despite me and my husband trying everything for hours. Sometimes we can rock him back to sleep but then up an hour later. At some point in night bottle won’t even settle him, he’ll only go back to sleep when in our bed. When he does wake up he’s rolling, kicking, slapping etc. he has to sleep with mittens on or he’ll pinch my eyes or scrape my gums etc.
Tried everything with his sleep but this isn’t getting better - even tried consultant but they couldn’t help.
We’ve offered him every type of food but he just throws it on the floor. When we try to offer it to him he purses lips and turns head away. Only thing he’ll eat is melty sticks. Seeing others on 3x bottles a day, my LO is on 6-7x bottles. Weve tried feed him before milk due so he’s not reliant on the bottle but it never works. Tried feeding after a feed but also doesn’t work. Tried feeding in the middle but not interested. Literally tried everything with food, not interested.
Feeling like a real failure of a mum. People saying ‘food is fun before 1’, but I’ll get to 1 and it’s going to become a real problem, which I don’t want. I’m exhausted and so upset.
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My baby is 10 months old and has slept through the night, maybe twice. Now she wakes around 5 times a night, sometimes more. I dont remember what it was like to have a continuous full night's sleep. We cosleep as a result because I just couldn't survive. I was falling asleep holding her at 4 months old and knew things were becoming dangerous.
Food was a long and slow journey. I started at 5.5 months old, and she honestly barely ate anything until she hit 8.5 months old around the time she began crawling. Some days she still doesn't eat much and other days she will explore food more. My biggest advice is this. Keep going! Offer food when you're eating and let him explore it. Take away the plate and put a small amount in front of him at a time. Add some flavour. My daughter loves garlic of all things. Practice with a spoon, baby led weaning and purees. I do a whole mixture. If it goes on the floor, it goes on the floor, but I assure you eventually it will go in the mouth.
Most importantly, keep meal time fun!
Babies are very cautious with food. Its funny they stick everything else in their mouth but food is where they draw the line. Eat the food, show him how its done. Play with the food. Exaggerated eating and sounds. Sing, let him play with the spoon and explore texture. Dont get stressed. They know it when you're stressed and it'll make them less likely to eat. Go with the flow, embrace the mess and remember no matter whether it ends up on the floor, all over his hands, face and everywhere but in his mouth its still a success and a step in the right direction. Also babies need to try foods several times before they determine if they like it or not.
I could have written this - same on the sleep, same on the food, same on trying a sleep consultant to no avail. I feel the same way you do, like I’ve failed. I think it’s normal we feel this way; when everything seems to be a struggle. No advice just wanted to say you aren’t alone
I found this age the toughest stage to be honest ! It feels like there are more expectations around food and sleep etc but you still feel very in the thick of it. Not to mention they’re starting to get on the move !
My baby never slept through the night til 18mo and a normal night would be 5+ wakeups. That doesn’t make it any easier to hear I’m sure but know you’re not alone and maybe it’s more normal than people like to make us think!
We coslept too just because it was the more peaceful option and I followed the ‘safe sleep 7 rules’.
With regard to food, I notice my LO gets fussy any time I intervene, such as offering foods, loading her spoon or make any type of fuss around what’s on her plate. Even now!
So I would leave her to explore while I kept a watchful eye on her and we got there eventually.
You’re doing your best and if baby is happy - that is enough ❤️
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