napping/self soothing tips

my little one is 10 weeks old, and when tired he used to like being rocked to sleep and have either a dummy, a bottle or to suck his hands. over the last few days he’s started to really fight sleep and i feel awful because he gets so upset and it takes much longer than before to get him to sleep, and sometimes i have to resort to driving him around to get him to sleep, which with the petrol prices currently is not ideal😂 does anyone have any tips on how to let him self soothe/put himself to sleep? i don’t know if it’s maybe too early for that yet but i want him to be getting the sleep he needs and if he’s able to do it without my help then that works out better for him!

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From what I have researched, babies simply do not have the neurobiology capable of self soothing until later into the toddler years (it is a myth that they can do this sooner). However all babies are different and some need more or less of our support but most need it to some degree. Fighting sleep at 10 weeks is developmentally normal / common and you just need to find what helps him sleep. For my baby it was napping in a dim room with white noise and being bounced, even if it took 20 minutes of bouncing. There was no “trick” or something I could give her that would make her self soothe - she just got overtired and fought sleep harder. If you leave your baby to “cry it out” they will eventually go to sleep on their own when their brain is exhausted and they realize no one is coming for them. However studies have shown that even though they are quiet they do not actually sleep more and their cortisol levels remain high- they just learn not to signal for help and eventually crash.

Some babies are able to self settle and put them selves to sleep. Most aren't. I would push in the pram or wear in a carrier. Make the room really dark and soothing sounds. At this age they get so aware of the world that it can be hard for them to fall asleep. It's usually just a phase.

My LO is 11 weeks and used to fight sleep like it was the Olympics 😂 get your kettle on and taps on. Worked (still does) like magic for my wee one.

Personally i know a baby who is fighting/ crying when trying to be put to sleep is often closer to sleep than a baby who is just smiling and staring at you. Now it’s not always true. But it sometimes is

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Feeling like a failure

Baby is 9 months old and I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. He doesn’t sleep well, never has, but I feel like it’s worse at the minute. He has never ever slept through, most he’s done is 6 hour stretch twice. Also, he is not interested in food at all despite trying and offering for the last 3 months. All babies his age seem to be eating well, yet to come across one who doesn’t.

He wakes up 5-10 times a night, normally it’s 2-4, most of the time he’ll only settle on the bottle despite me and my husband trying everything for hours. Sometimes we can rock him back to sleep but then up an hour later. At some point in night bottle won’t even settle him, he’ll only go back to sleep when in our bed. When he does wake up he’s rolling, kicking, slapping etc. he has to sleep with mittens on or he’ll pinch my eyes or scrape my gums etc.

Tried everything with his sleep but this isn’t getting better - even tried consultant but they couldn’t help.

We’ve offered him every type of food but he just throws it on the floor. When we try to offer it to him he purses lips and turns head away. Only thing he’ll eat is melty sticks. Seeing others on 3x bottles a day, my LO is on 6-7x bottles. Weve tried feed him before milk due so he’s not reliant on the bottle but it never works. Tried feeding after a feed but also doesn’t work. Tried feeding in the middle but not interested. Literally tried everything with food, not interested.

Feeling like a real failure of a mum. People saying ‘food is fun before 1’, but I’ll get to 1 and it’s going to become a real problem, which I don’t want. I’m exhausted and so upset.

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