Colourism
So I am Canadian-Jamaican and it’s such a spicy topic regarding skin colour. I have always considered myself black as both parents are from Jamaica. Externally, my dad would be considered “mixed” which stems from slavery. His family goes 2 generations back of mixed heritage. My mom is the descendant of Maroons that escaped to the mountains of Jamaica. When people ask what are you mixed with? I give them the spunky response with, “my mom and my dad.” Or when I tell them both parents are Jamaican they insist I give them more of a response.
Now that I have my daughter I already knew I had no control what DNA did in terms of skin colour. My fiancé is a dark skinned man from Antigua. When our daughter was born, she came out lighter than me. She is now 6months and basically is my twin except for when she frowns, that is all her father.
Now my mom has her “light skinned preference “ and has made comments on me dating a dark skinned man and she has also made comments about my daughter and her “good hair” and “nice skin.” Even my own dad has also chimed in on the skin colour of my daughter.
As a kid I struggled with identity and my blackness in schools that were predominantly East Asian. The very few black students in my school never wanted to be my friend because of how “light” I was.
I know times are different for some kids, but I wonder if any other moms out there struggle with colourism within your family or in the public?
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I have issues with colorism in my family. My mother and I are the darkest family members on her side. My mother grew up with a complex due to my grandmother(mixed with black and white) favoring the more racially ambiguous children than my mother. My mother is pretty but she never felt as pretty as her lighter skinned sisters. I dont jave a complex at all. I was surrounded by people who helped my self esteem. My lighter skinned aunts and cousins always told me how pretty and smart I was.
Fast forward to now. My husband is lighter than me and my mother was so happy. She told me she was happy her grandbabies wont be "dark and ugly" 😔 that hurt my feelings so much because that means she thinks Im ugly(Im darker than her). I had a daughter and shes going to be on the darker side. My mother is upset about it. I honestly dont know how to deal with the situation because my mother is coming from a place of ignorance and hurt BUT I dont want her saying stuff like that to my girl. Colorism is a cancer to society.
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