Toys at grandparents home

It sounds like there may be a bit of a complicated relationship here, but generally speaking, this is your child and I’d recommend getting toys you can leave at MIL if it is inconvenient for you to bring your own every time you go…

She absolutely loves our daughter but seems to ignore the boundaries I set or undermines me in a sense. I feel like thats what shes doing with the toys, like she knows better and because Im the one that mentioned and asked for the toys that she can undermine me by proving that our daughter will play with things other than toys and that she is right.
Thank youu for your comment. I feel like maybe Im wrong for asking her to buy toys and that I should be supplying them but I also feel like im hardly asking for anything from someone who claimed they wanted to treated like grandma so bad. But literally youre right, thank you❤️

I have left toys there but she has put them behind the sofa and doesnt get them out when we go there. She gives my daughter the remote and pulls magnets off the fridge and gives her emtpy plant pots to play with instead of getting they toys I have left there out for her. I do take toys everytime I go as well. I can buy toys and leave them there, I just wanted to know if Im wrong for asking her to get some herself especially as she wont get the ones ive already left there out

Sounds like my MIL , admittedly never really see her even know she is next door… she has nothing at her house, my parents live in France & they have LOADS !! My dad is even making him an outdoor play area as such

thank you. Yeahh Im not asking for much at all, a book, some stickers would be perfect. Im probably just gonna go and buy some bits to leave at hers, just kinda upset she doesnt want to do that as a grandma herself

🥹😭❤️ that literally sounds like my family. My dad wanted to make her a bedroom at play area in his house and he lives 2 hours away. My MIL wont even buy her a toy :(

that's exactly why itd be nice for her to buy things for her house. My daughter is 11 months and wont leave my side at their house, its hardly child friendly...it would make it a lot more enjoyable for both of us if it was. Like walking in and her having somewhere to play. Even just a dedicated corner of the room would make the biggest difference. I just sit in the middle of the floor with her and her toys and its kinda sad and my baby doesnt feel comfortable to leave my side there.

she gives her magnets off the fridge and empty plant pots which doesnt really feel like real world exploration or anything that is better than her playing with age appropriate toys, even stackable cups would be better than that in my opinion. Feels a bit like the bare minimum, if that. Shes 11 months old and is really clingy to me when we're there so I dont feel like she enjoys what is there. She is happy with the toys I take and im just asking for it to be more baby friendly and for her take a small load off my back when we go to visit which I dont feel like is much to ask. I understand your points, it makes sense. Just would like her to make it a more enjoyable experience for my daughter. Just feel like theres a big weight on me to do everything and then she complains that im not letting her be grandma when Im asking for her to help me in a way that would make things better for me and my daughter but she doesnt want to do it. She wants to be grandma without doing things I expect from a grandparent

Yeah call me cruel, but after the comment about y’all not letting her be a grandma, when you were recovering after childbirth, would’ve caused her to be a once monthly or by monthly grandma, she’s super lucky you didn’t decide that your child shouldn’t regularly hang out with manipulative people like that.
One the other hand, my parents rarely see my kids, they keep an entire bedroom for them to play in & the quilt chest at the foot of the bed is packed with toys they’ve accumulated, whether they got left behind by other grands or they thought they were cute & purchased. My greatest gen grandma knew what was up, she was a bookkeeper & kept thousands of empty paper rolls from her adding machine, best blocks ever, plus grandpa(98) collects old cars & has a bunch he lets the greats play with, even my great aunt & uncle who were child free, had a bedroom w/2 twins, a drawer full of toys & a big wheels in the garage they had me help pick out one year. Want kids around, act like it.

I personally think it’s the parents responsibility to supply toys or a wish list of age appropriate toys if grandparents do want to buy (bc it’s often been 30+ years since they’ve raised a child and the standards are different). But knowing you’ve left a handful of toys that your MIL refuses to use? That’s a little weird.
Hell, it’d be one thing if she was trying to encourage open ended play, but a tv remote hardly encourages that.

Mine don’t really go to their dads mums she comes here. However my parents live a 2 minute walk away and have toys, highchair even a bed that the both share for a nap 😅

Tv remote? Yuck! Babies need engagement toys in addition to people engagement..they put everything in their mouth for the first year so she needs to be more considerate.

Also being a grandparent is a PRIVILEGE not a right! Why ol heads dont get that.

My mom always had a few toys at her house for young grandkids. Now she only has 1 young grandkids but still has something for all ages. Crayons, coloring books, she will buy crafts for the older ones, toys for when they were younger. Always something to do.

Is she not a baby person? Lol my parents live five min away and literally have a pack n play filled w toys in their living room along with more in the spare bedroom that they bought a race car bed for my son to grow into and call it his room 😅 my mil is 40 min away and also has toys in her living room even though we’re sometimes only there once a month. While I don’t think she needs as much as my parents (your mil) she should be able to bring out a small basket of toys when your bby comes over once a week 🥺

The comments about the baby finding stuff to entertain itself just scream “I’m not going to engage and care for your child properly because I don’t plan to really pay attention properly” to me, dunno why. Maybe that’s rash, but it definitely came to mind

We have to fly to see my parents and they still have kids stuff in their house.

If you've left toys there just get them out yourself - why do you need to wait for them to be offered? They're yours!

I agree it's nice if grandparents have some toys they've provided to play with but I wouldn't be upset if they let us keep a little drawer of toys we bring there.

It’s ur mom and u guys seem close enough to be dropping ur baby off just have a lighthearted convo about how u feel and then try to come up with a solution together it’s not a big deal imo so it shouldn’t offend her

I think kids visiting a place a couple times a week with no toys is not bad at all. If the place is safe (stairs, ...) that's good enough. Of course that's nice if she has few things but kids doesn't need much even if marketing makes us think that they need plenty of things. My baby use to have a lot of things and guess what, his favorite toys were our remote control, papers, plastic bottles (basically clean trash). I ve been learning that other people will do differently with our kids (inside safety limits!!) and that's absolutely ok and even better for our kids. They learn different ways and learn to be flexible. You are not asking for too much indeed. But is that really necessary to be upset over it ?

My mom lives over 4 hours away and she has a ton of toys for my son and nephew who aren’t even there all that often. My MIL has a portable crib that he’s now outgrown and nothing else. We aren’t there often so just bring a few things along.

Does she not have the money or not want the clutter?

I think...there's part of postpartum hormones happening here and valud frustration that is getting bigger than it needs to though.

She doesnt get the walker out? Go get it. Dont know where it is? "Hey, where's the walker? Baby wants to be on the move." You feel like there needs to be toys there? Just get some and leave them there in a basket. Annoying? Sure.

We provided my inlaws a rotating car seat because of both of their backs. We provided the highchair. Her non spill drinking cup. The bassinet and the playpen. We have a spare of clothes, undies, socks there just incase too. They have toys BUT....when she was little she absolutely preferred the magnets, remote, boxes, spatulas...so I let it be. Not everyone wants the clutter of toys.

I just wouldn't let this be the hill id die on especially when there are easy fixes for this.

As annoying as that is I get it from both sides bc sometimes my son will play with pots and pans and remotes instead of his thousand toys we buy him. It could possibly be an older generation thing some people believe kids learn better by just playing with household items. But also both my parents and in-laws have toys for LO at their places so that part I don’t get unless she’s not financially stable but there should be no reason why she wouldn’t use the toys you have there for LO

Just leave a bag of toys there and specifically ask her to get them out when you go round.

my mil is anti toys😂😭 she complained to my hubby behind my back and got mad cause 1 piece of kids puzzle was on the floor when my parents inlaw visited and they visit just too oftenn ngl🥵🥲

Both grandparents have some bits for my son, but when they didn’t at first I used to leave stuff there for when we visited, I left toys, books and nappies and they stored it away for when we visit. And at 2.5 yrs both still have toys there for him
X

Girl neither set of the 3 grandparents I have house is kid friendly but want to see the grandkids I'm not gone keep bringing the whole house with me so come to our home and see your grandkids or video chat simple I been broke that years ago because it's exhausting as helllllll😮‍💨😮‍💨

Buy toys for the grandma's house and leave them there.

All she has to do is go to Goodwill and buy a few things, of course she should have toys there

Sorry pressed the first option by accident it does seem odd. I would just leave some more toys there