Stay co parenting or try to be a family?

I left my ex due to emotional and mental abuse. I constantly tried to tell him I wanted healthy communication, I can tell he got some of his ways from his mother.
We've got a newborn and another kid together and of course I never wanted to solo parent, I wanted love and marriage. My kid cries every single time daddy leaves because she doesn't see him often. Since we have the newborn together he wants us to work on the relationship. I said he would need to leave the abuse behind.... Yet on the same day he wanted to be a family he said my parenting was hippie style, that I live a life on benefits because I stopped working just temporarily while raising my babies and that he wants someone to accept him for him.... I'm disheartened but how can I even try with this man as much as I want to be a family and know my babies will be happy to have daddy full time

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

Coparenting

Avatar

I wish I could go back to when my 2nd was a new born and we were in the same boat, I decided to stay and a year later ended up with a dvo. It never ends, they don’t know how to stop hurting people. You can only make that decision but I would say to be coparenting you’ll be happier in the long run xx

Avatar

Please please stay apart. He's basically saying he wants you to put up with his abuse and why should you? Also abusers always go on to abuse their children aswell so for their sake stay apart

Avatar

Stay apart. Just left my fiancé for being the same and I feel way better without having to deal with someone else rn. They don’t change they want you to change

Avatar

For the sake of your children stay separated, they may be upset when he leaves and that’s normal and a hell of a lot better than what a relationship like that will do to them

Avatar

Coparent. First line said it all

Avatar

Remember that children will mimic the love and actions they see.

Avatar

Co parent. An abusive person will never change unless they want to change and really make a change and it will be a lifetime process. Please don't let your kids grow up and get stuck in an abusive home. It'll mess up their mental and emotional health. Whatever they see, how the father treats you and them including his family will shape how they are to you and other people. You'll get a better chance of finding a loving partner in the future. Don't settle for less. Know yours and your kids worth and be strong to fight for it. It will be hard especially now, more than anyone can say they understand but please push to get an outside help. Save yourself and your babies now, don't wait for him to get better, it probably will not happen anytime soon or maybe ever. Sorry mama that you're going through this. I don't know if you believe in God, if you do, pray about it.

Avatar

Stay separated. He’s never going to learn healthy communication or stop being abusive unless he realizes it and wants to stop. Right now it sounds like he just wants you to accept his abuse and that’s BS! Stay apart and stay safe!

Avatar

Definitely coparent. My child’s dad can be a complete turd in a relationship, but he’s the best coparent ever. Sometimes coparenting can work out better all round x

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Read more on Peanut