healing trauma

have you forgiven your mom/dad for the trauma they may have caused? I forgave my mom, even tho she never asked for forgiveness and never has acknowledged what she did was abusive, but I'm having a hard time forgiving my dad. Now that I'm a mom it's almost harder, since I can't understand how he was capable of doing the things he did. He's an addict and an alcoholic, and during my pregnancy he wasn't VERY involved, but told me he was so excited and happy of being a grandpa. When my baby was born, he saw him like 10 min when we came back from the hospital, and one week later he literally disappeared, was a whole week on a bender, lost a lot of money and ruined his marriage. Now he's in therapy for the first time in his life, but he hasn't said a word to me. He talks and sees my two younger siblings, and yet it's like I don't exist. I'm so tired.

Sorry it was so long, but have you been in a similar situation?? How did you heal??

in our community

Feel like a failure as a mom, it’s only been 5 days

Had my baby via C-section on 9 April. Because she was a C-section baby, she had fluid in her lungs after birth that she couldn’t get out so she was transferred to neonatal unit. I feel like that was my fault because I chose to have an elective section.
Jump forward 5 days. I still have no milk supply despite double pumping like 4x per day. My baby is off the ventilator, but there’s talk of putting her back on because she’s not at a high enough saturation level (92% instead of 94+). She’s also not independently eating because she refuses to wake up and either put my boob in her mouth or take a bottle, so they’re tube-feeding her.
Now, she’s my first. I want to hold her all the time because she’s my first and because I want skin to skin and because skin to skin is supposed to help my milk supply (except right now I just feel like a fucking cow). My husband had skin to skin with her last night when her oxygen was low but when I took her, her oxygen level went right back to where it should be (96-100). So I come in when I’m awake and available and pick her up to hold her for those reasons. Then around meal time, I undress her to try and get her to wake up a bit. All these things make sense right?
Well, the midwife basically told my husband while I was sitting there asleep and attached to the pump that I shouldn’t hold her as much and that skin to skin is important but like, so is keeping her warm. And I’ve checked her temp. She’s hot when I take her blankets off and I put a blanket on when she’s cold and my husband even agreed with me today she was warm.

I just feel awful because I feel like I can’t do anything right. If we were at home, it would be just me and him and everything would be fine. But I’m so scrutinised here. I just feel like such a failure.
Thanks for reading.

Postpartum rage

I need help. My daughter is almost 2 months and I'm currently I'm doing everything by myself cause my bf can't be in the shelter with me. The staff doesn't help at all. I am diagnosed with bipolar and multiple personality disorder. I'm currently struggling to keep my cool with my daughter. But it's hard. I honestly don't know what to. I love my daughter with all my heart but I'm scared of myself cause I don't have my bf here to help me with our daughter. I'm currently sitting in the corner crying

Plz help

NEED A HACK! 4 month old - holiday help!

We are going to Greece with our three children in 2 weeks for 10 days. We are in one room, the kids are 4, 2 and 4 months. Our baby is an okay sleeper but not great. She sleeps in a next to me at home. We’ve tried to the travel cot here and she hates it as it’s so big in comparison - is there anything that I can take on holiday to make it feel smaller so she might actually sleep?! I can’t find anything when I google or chat gpt the problem so hoping someone might have a hack! Thanks x

Skin yo skin challenges

My baby is 5 weeks old and we have hardly done any skin to skin. We did it at birth, and a few times in the first week. He has problems latching, so I'm feeding him with nipple shields after advice from a lactation consultant. After the first week we have hardly done any skin to skin. If I try, he tries to latch (even if he's not hungry) but he's unsuccessful so he gets super upset. Also, he always gets upset when I undress and dress him, so I end up not doing skin to skin for both reasons. However I now regret that I've lost so much time without doing it. Do you think I can start now? And if so, have you got any tips to overcome those challenges?

Constantly overstimulated I hate it

My baby is 5m and I hate the person I’ve become since being a mum. I’m so overstimulated all the time I snap at my husband for the smallest of things, I meltdown over seemingly nothing but I just can’t help it. I’m constantly being touched, hit, scratched, vomited on, hair pulled, screamed at. My brain is going to explode. Does anyone else feel like this? How do you cope?

How many times is your baby waking at night?

Now we’re at 3 months I hoped I might get a night off feeding but no luck!!

My daughter is 3 months and EBF. She sleeps 9-2:30, then down again until 6ish x