in

My Mother In Law Said What?!

Low contact

Hello! Any advice on how to go low contact? Past few years since having kids things have gone wrong. Prior 12 years were fine and we didn’t see too much of them.

Since having kids we’ve tried to have a close relationship - they do look after the children, I send up dates etc a lot but I also know I need to step back although don’t want to change the relationship the children have or anything but how do I step back in this?

I know I can’t do it abruptly and obviously they still see the kids at least once a week which is for both my and their benefits. But it’s my wellbeing and we’ve all had a big argument that my mum is now involved in too! It’s all a bit of a mess. I’ve been their main contact rather than my partner over the kids so I don’t just want to disappear but really every interaction keeps triggering wounds and maybe for her too.

I know I can’t have someone in my life that is so critical and I realise was probably watching me closely all the time.

And also did anyone do this and it affected their relationship with partner? My partner has never been close to his mother but seems to have sent the odd extra text since this has all gone wrong but I don’t want it to harm us.

And finally the part I’m struggling with my in law is kinda the same personality traits I’ve struggled at times with my partner - is that normal? Eg thinking they’re right a their way is best etc although his mum is way more extreme. Is this normal?

Thank you!