Question for those who have difficult relationship with their parents/family

They have shown no interest throughout my pregnancy and tbh I'm not sure how to handle visiting after the birth.. what would you say is the best action to take?

1- inform them of the birth and then wait for them to suggest to visit?
2- inform them of the birth then be upfront and say no visitors?
3- just want to see results

Also if you choose to comment please can you tell me how you handled this? I know if they come and visit they will just hold baby and won't offer to help in any other way, and I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with that as they haven't supported me throughout my pregnancy.

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This is a difficult question to answer considering we don’t know your relationship with your parents. Difficult is a very vague term

If any of my family members didn’t show any interest in my pregnancy they wouldn’t be allowed to visit my baby, end off.

Both sides of our family showed very little interest the majority of my pregnancy right up till the end. When i was texting my mom and told her we were busy with extra preparing as we respected that both sides communicated to us that they were not interested in participating in their grandbaby outside of us occasionally visiting them. All of a sudden right after my mil started planning a baby shower and my mom started ordering a bunch of stuff off of our registry. 🤷‍♀️

A hard truth that i had to learn when i became a mom is that you dont get to decide who shows up for you and your baby, or how they show up. I so badly wanted in person grandparent participation but financial help is the best way they can help, my mom helps us with baby supplies (a diaper wipe subscription was a huge help!) And my inlaws helps us out with rent and childcare costs. Plus memberships to the zoo and clothes. Its not the help i would have chosen, but you learn to make peace with it and appreciate the intrest when it comes.

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