Struggling with newborn and toddler

Some days are good and I feel like we're on top of things but then there's days like today when I just want to pull my hair out!

My baby is 2 weeks old, my toddler is nearly 3. Honestly I feel like I need to be in like 5 places at once all the time. My husband is amazing and we're working great as a team but even still it feels so overwhelming.

My toddler needs help with most things, and he always wants me. If his dad tries to help him then he just starts crying and tantruming. He'll accidentally wake the baby up and she'll start crying and my husband and I will often just find ourselves looking at each other, both holding a screaming child, like what on Earth have we got ourselves into.

Baby's sleep is obviously all over the place, and neither of us can get any time to catch up and nap because one of us always has to be with our toddler, and he's so demanding at tye kinute. Constantly wants snacks, cannot play independently, constantly wants something put on the tele, or a new toy set up, a book read 100x, of he'll want to go out the back garden, or for a walk or to the park. It is just relentless. Adding a newborn to the mix who is sleeping in short bursts, cluster feeding, impossible to burp, its just so stressful.

And I can't even get time to wind down in the evening once toddler is asleep because I feel like I NEED to sleep as soon as newborn goes down to bed too or it's a waste of sleep.

My husband and I took our newborn in shifts at night for the first week and it meant we both got a good stretch of uninterrupted sleep and we're debating doing that again, but it just means we don't get to relax together at all and it's quite overwhelming.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

It is very overwhelming! I feel for you ❤️ only advice I have is hold onto the good days. I've got a 5week old and a 3 year old. Our 'down time' is all four of us sitting on the couch with a show on for my toddler. Luckily my baby has got some 3-4 hours stretches of sleep overnight in the past week which have helped. The house is chaos, toys and clothes everywhere, I haven't had more than 5min to give my husband a cuddle in 5weeks and it's very much divide and conquer in our house right now! I've heard it gets better though, we're in the thick of it right now, if you need any moral support/commiserating you can dm me 😊

Avatar

Sending hugs as I dont have an answer we have a 2yr old and a 8 day old baby. Our 2yr is constant and hard work just trying to remember that everything is a phase, and hoping it gets easier as its hardest having time for each other x

Avatar

We have an almost 3 year old and a 4 day old and right there with you, it’s really hard! 🩷

Avatar

Very much in this boat with you right now! 2.5yr old and 3 week old. The toddler has had a nasty virus this last week, and honestly myself and hubby are hanging on by a thread! The toddler is waking every hour on top of the newborn feeding 2 hourly, I’m just trying to tell myself it’s a phase!

Avatar

I’m in the same boat, partner back to work and I’m still fighting an infection that’s been ongoing for weeks. I’m 3 weeks PP.
all I’m telling myself is I need to soak it up because it goes so quick 😭 and it won’t last forever. We have all got this 🩷🩷

Avatar

Same here! My son is 4 so you’d think it would be easier but it’s not. He’s still demanding, needs help with most things and can’t obviously be left alone with the baby at this stage. Since we’ve come home my partner looks after our son and I look after our baby, I’m EBF so not a lot my partner can really do anyway. Do you get any respite when your toddler goes to preschool?
Just remember the reasons you wanted another child & soon in the not so distant future you’ll be able to watch them grow and play together. This is just a phase xx

Avatar

Girl same. Nearly 3 y/o and a 3 wk old and today was hell 😂 3 wk old didn’t wanna be put down (still fussing in his cot as I type 😭) and I feel awful cos my tot wants to play and I miss him!! It’s rough but it’s gotta get better right

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Again something I never thought my daughter would like

I gave her one because she kept staring at me eating. She's had 5 since. She's 10.5 months. My 3 yo refused to even eat the rice because it touched a chip.

Avatar

4

Meal ideas

What’s your baby’s favourite meal? I need new ideas

Avatar

2

6

Living in a flat with little ones

For those of you who live in a flat, do you use the communal garden as your 'garden' and if so what's your set up like? Just need some inspo🥰

Avatar

4

How do you know when your marriage is emotionally over?

I’ve been feeling really lonely in my relationship for a long time. We have a child together, so I keep trying to stay calm and make things work, but emotionally I feel disconnected.

My partner can be inconsistent, avoid serious conversations, and act like everything is normal after problems happen. I feel like I’m expected to move on without anything actually changing. It makes me feel tired, hurt, and unsure of what the future even looks like.

I don’t hate him, but I also don’t feel safe emotionally or supported the way I need to be. I feel like I’m only still here because of our child, not because the relationship feels healthy.

Has anyone else stayed in a relationship mostly because of the kids? How did you know whether to keep trying or start accepting that it was over?

Avatar

3

15

Holiday packing for baby (6 months)

Hi Mamas,
Please could you advise what I need to pack for 10 days holiday in Majorca. We go next month and baby will be 6 months. (EBF)
I understand the obvious clothes, swimmers, nappies. But please could you tell me what is essential or any tips?
Thank you ❤️

Avatar

9

BLW rice

Has anybody given rice yet? We are having a rice dish for tea and baby is just short of 9 months, which the solid starts app says from 9 months they can be served rice as it comes (cooked of course). How is everyone else serving it?

Avatar

11

Read more on Peanut