How do you know when your marriage is emotionally over?

I’ve been feeling really lonely in my relationship for a long time. We have a child together, so I keep trying to stay calm and make things work, but emotionally I feel disconnected.

My partner can be inconsistent, avoid serious conversations, and act like everything is normal after problems happen. I feel like I’m expected to move on without anything actually changing. It makes me feel tired, hurt, and unsure of what the future even looks like.

I don’t hate him, but I also don’t feel safe emotionally or supported the way I need to be. I feel like I’m only still here because of our child, not because the relationship feels healthy.

Has anyone else stayed in a relationship mostly because of the kids? How did you know whether to keep trying or start accepting that it was over?

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It sounds like you have the maturity to look at the situation with a counsellor. If he's a bit avoidant of big issues, perhaps you could go on a few fun dates together, build positivity with him and then you're in a good position to explain what you're trying to protect with him in asking to go to counselling together

Hard truth you can tell him your falling out of love with him. And if you guys dont take the necessary steps to fix it (that you need to see growth, not just talk) that you can realistically see yourself moving on because it's not working out anymore. Those talks can be uncomfortable but be so important. And his reaction will let you know if he is willing to put in the work or if he dimisses you and makes you feel crazy or irrelevant. He'll tell you with his actions if he is willing to change. Sometimes even a short break like going to stay at your parents place until you see change or can actually have a conversation can make a difference. Some people dont know what they're loosing till it's gone.

Oh I totally get that good dates don't fix issues. I just thought it might make him more amenable to the idea of counselling if he can see what he's about to lose.

Don’t bother with therapy, just stop doing things for him.

Don’t have sex
Don’t buy or pay for anything
Eat well
Go to the gym

Do everything that makes you feel happy and more closer to version of yourself before you had children.

He will either quickly come back to you when he realises you no longer serve him and his need and he won’t want to avoid you anymore.

Or he will decide he wants to leave. Either way it will tell you a lot about the man you’re with.

Life is too short to be walking on eggshells any longer

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