Worried about postpartum

So I’ve had 3 kids, ranging from an easy unicorn baby to borderline colic.

Here’s my recommendation
- prepare for less free time than you anticipate once baby hits 4-5 weeks ; how can you set yourself up for success so that contact naps aren’t stressful if that’s how your baby needs to nap?
- figure out how you and your husband will split thr nights NOW. It’s fine to take all nights if your baby starts sleeping through the night at 2-3 months but if you have a baby that wakes often for months, it becomes unsustainable and you will need help
-understand that all fussiness is tied something - either the baby is physically uncomfortable (hungry, gassy, reflux, temperature, etc) or mental overstimulated.
- I stopped tracking sleep, food, and leaps/regressions/growth spurts. Babies are growing at such a rapid pace both physically and mentally that almost every other week will introduce a new variable.

I feel the same way. I have no family either or friends. Pregnancy has been super lonely. Ive had to give up all my hobbies and by extension the only contact with humans I had. I am in the process of moving and starting all over again with my partner and worry about the postpartum too. Especially as we move to a small town where I won’t be able to do any of the things I enjoyed pre pregnancy. I am not a confident driver so going places will take a while and my job will be remote even if I manage to keep it. There is a big chance I will lose it or that I will just never really progress in my career due to my location. It feels like Ive totally lost myself and baby girl is not even here yet

My first experience was awful. (Jan 2023) I had pretty bad PND which went ignored from my support system. But I went on to have therapy which has helped massively.
My second experience (currently 8 weeks pp) and it’s been amazing.

Genuinely, if ANYBODY, (even the people closer to you) has anything negative to say, ignore them. Don’t let it get to you. Enjoy your baby as much as you can.
Accept help if you need it, and don’t be afraid or embarrassed to ask.
Say no if you don’t want visitors. Don’t worry about other people’s feelings. Focus on your recovery and what’s best for you.
Prepare to “lose yourself” for a little bit. Don’t worry about how you look, how little time you may have to yourself. They will all come back once you get settled into your new life.
If you have a partner, think about his (or her) role. Do they know what to do? Will they change nappies without prompting? Making bottles if necessary? Support you breastfeeding if you choose to
Do what’s right for you!

Everyone has a different experience and those that have a bad experience tend to be the ones that broadcast it on the internet. There’s not much to say if you have a good experience. When I had my first it was bloody hard work and more emotionally challenging than anything I had ever done. But there were many bits of joy that I can’t wait to experience again. Let’s face it if it was horrendous for everyone, nobody would have more than one !

I had a lovely postpartum experience and I would relive those newborn days over and over if I could. Yes it’s tough and physically and mentally demanding but it’s also beautiful. People will have something to say about everything in relation to babies/parenting because so many people have lived through it but we are all difference and experience everything in different ways xx

I loved post partum and maternity leave, there were difficulties of course, but I felt like I built such an amazing relationship with my son and I knew I was meant to be a mum.

My first (currently pregnant with second) was a lovely experience. Obviously you never know what youre going to get but just to reassure that it can be positive. My birth was natural and simple and I recovered quickly. Baby and I were were both healthy and the newborn stage was brilliant, we were all just in a lovely oxytocin bubble of cuddles and family time. My husband was so supportive and hands on which I think makes a huge difference and everyone respected our boundaries of waiting for visits. The more you try to control things or put pressure on yourself the worse it is but if you allow yourself to just ride the wave it can be wonderful assuming there are no other complications. Id be happy to discuss further if youd like to know more.

Are you looking at doing an NCT course? I made some great friends who were my absolute lifeline postpartum as we all had babies at the same time - literally 3 were born on the same day!

I’m going to split nights with my hubby this time. Last time we were both in the same room but I think it’ll be better to do shifts, so we can both hopefully get a chunk of 3-4hrs sleep each night.

Dont stress about trying to do too much with the baby. I thought I had to do baby massage, loads of classes etc early on and it made life much more stressful. Just go for a walk each day and enjoy the cuddles on the sofa.

It’s hard, not gonna lie, but it’s a season. Baby will want you most of the time as you’re their safe space - that’s normal. It’s not forever.