rant

I’m 12 day’s postpartum and my bd is making me crazy. I live with my mom currently (I’m 20 and still a student) and my bf is currently without a place to stay bc he just moved to be closer. My mom and him have never had a relationship even though we’ve been together 2 years almost. He doesn’t like my mom bc of things she’s said and my mom doesn’t like him bc he has never made an effort to get to know any of my family. While I was pregnant he was living and working 4 hours away I had asked him a few times what the plan was once I gave birth and he never told me one. Then I give birth and he expects my mom to let him move in for 2 months. She doesn’t feel comfortable with him spending the night since she doesn’t know him (she’s fine with him being here during the day) so he’s upset that he can’t be with his kid but since my mom told me that he hasn’t even been here. He’s acting like he cares about seeing the baby but hasn’t been over in 2 days. He’s been rude to me multiple times since birth. Talking to a girl I’ve asked him so many times to stop talking to and he won’t. Then the other day he came over and has “play hitting me” he’s 32 and I feel like he should be better than this.

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You are absolutely right. He should be better than that, specially with his grown ass age. I would stick to the rules your mom has and explain that if he wants to possibly be able to spend the night...make more of an attempt to spend quality family time with all of you while he visits including your mom. He needs to earn her respect. She's just looking out for you and your little one. He really seems to be the one that needs to man up just being honest.

Oh man I’m sorry you are going through this. “Play hitting” is not okay. I have been in your shoes and it started off like that for me too. Right before I got pregnant my ex cracked my head. I talk way slower and I can’t concentrate that well. My son’s dad was 36 and I was 19 when I had my son. These “men” are predators girl. They seek young women because they are easier to mold. I’m 31 now and trust me I learned my lesson. Your mom is disappointed in him most of all because he is 32 and doesn’t have his life together. As a 31 year old this behavior wouldn’t be acceptable. I realized it’s better to be alone than dealing with this behavior. These are choices you have to make and talk it through with him. From the looks of it it’s a no girl. This can turn dangerous and you have a baby…. You can lose your baby and lose your damn mind over a “man” it’s not worth it. Therapy is definitely needed or atleast a ton of support from family and friends.

I apologize you’re going through that, postpartum is no joke, if I could go back and give my postpartum self some advice I’d say, find that new mommy strength and spirit and do what your gut tells you is right, not what society views as “right”.
Also silence is a better approach when it comes to a man, leave him alone, don’t stress about him, soak in that new born baby smell and choose who chooses you, your family and the ones who truly support you. At the end of the day he is missing out, he may wake up from the fog one day, he may not either way YOU must care for yourself because that baby needs you. Sending you love and light! And congratulations on your blessing! <3

This all sounds hard as heck!! I’m so sorry you’re going through all this. Hopefully you can still enjoy your baby and keep the focus on loving up on your little one. This guy sounds insensitive to your needs and to your baby’s… in terms of letting his conflict with your mom loom large, not respecting your requests for him to not talk to that girl, and the potentially aggressive sounding ‘play hitting.’ Honest take based on what you shared: you can do better. The good news is you are quite young and blended families are very common these days. If you go this route, it will be hard to disentangle from him at first, but it seems like your future self (and baby) will ultimately thank you!

Others’ replies are strong and eye opening as well. Know that you have a community of sisters here!!

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How often would you say you need sex?

I only cave it like 2-3 times a month. This is my personal opinion and experience 👇

I feel there’s a big group of women who only crave sex 2-4 times a month and are afraid to own it. And this could be from their unfulfilling sexual experiences, problems with their partner, exhaustion, or just how often they naturally crave it and feel genuinely aroused.

And most of these women often end up having more sex than what they actually grave bc societal pressure to be a sexual woman and their partners requiring it more frequently so they end up having sex not properly aroused. And the men end up believing that that is something normal a woman can do but its not and it ends up affecting her and therefore affecting their relationship.

How often would you say you need sex?

Sex @ 6 weeks pp

So i have my 6 week postpartum appointment on Thursday but I am actually 7 weeks pp as of today.
Anyway, my husband and I had sex last week for the first time since having our son. Unfortunately, he finished inside of me (i told him not to). At my appointment, i know my OB is going to ask about birth control but i am scared there’s a chance of me being pregnant AGAIN. Should i tell her what happened? Should i just refuse the BC until i know for sure?
i am so scared yall🙃

Anyone else have a slight addiction to having babies?

I might be absolutely crazy. I’ve got 3 kids 3 and under and I told myself through my whole 3rd pregnancy that I would not do it again but I see people announce pregnancy and having their babies or I watch a show and someone is pregnant or having a baby and I just feel like I wanna do it again. Does this feeling ever end? Cause I’m scared if I don’t have another then I’ll regret it but if I do have another I’ll just keep having the desire to have just one more

I’m over it

Sex life is dead. We haven’t had sex in 3 months. I always try to initiate and get rejected (it’s always me). He always says “I’m so tired” “my stomach hurts” “I’m already falling asleep”. I get so hurt and furious because wtheck?! I know work is tiring but at home it’s all me. He has gained over 30+ pounds and I know that’s also a big factor but he doesn’t care about his health to the point it’s affecting our sex life. I’m not needy but a girl needs atleast once a month 😭 I consider that a healthy normal sex libido, I’m not asking for a lot & yes I’ve already had a full convo about it but doesn’t led anywhere

Toesss

Would you suck your man’s toes if he was into it and asked you?

Is it safe to leave a crockpot on when you’re not home?

I’ve never had one. I just slow cook things in my big pot. But I hear of people using a crockpot and leaving for the day. It would be nice to do that but it doesn’t sound safe. I’m trying to decide if I should get one.