Nobody warned me about this part of having two kids 😭

hey there, Sophie. I’m commenting this, hoping that I do not step on any toes. Every mom has a different way of raising their kids and different ideas on discipline, but I was raised by a very disciplinary mother.( no complaints, she is literally my best friend my plan to raise my kids the same.)
With this being said, I believe that a sterb reprimanding and (if you aren’t comfortable spanking your child) then definitely punishing them in some other way would make a world of difference. The simple truth is that if they will not listen to you, they do not respect you. They should be listening to you, you’re their mother!
I’m not sure why your toddler might be hurting the baby, but I personally don’t think it’s normal. Their desire to hurt should not be first instinct, it should be to love and to care. Have you considered a children’s therapist? Again I really hope this is doesnt offend you, it is not my intention! Completely disregard this if you think it dsnt apply to your situation.

It's not normal. My first two are 13 months apart and that never happened. Now I am 40
weeks pregnant with a 36 and 23 month old

i’m guessing it’s probably for attention out of jealousy from the baby. it’s entirely normal. is there certain times where it’s worse? like when you change baby’s butt, feed baby, play with baby on the mat?

I don't mean to come off mean or anything so just in case I apologize in advance but it's Not normal is tot feeling left out, are you coddling tot after he/she hurts baby so tot is confusing this as a way to get attention

Omg im scared of this currently 13 and a half weeks pregnant with my 2nd while having an almost 4 year old toddler boy on the spectrum NOT for the weak 😭

I experienced it! You’re not alone and it does get better as they get older.. I think a lot of it was curiosity. 19 month age gap and my 1st was a boy then we had twins. So he could have been craving attention but I think it was more than just that bc we give him lots of attention. Also there’s only so much time in a day. Dad would even do play dates 1 on 1 with him while I was with the babies.

People saying its not normal are wrong.

Its normal for toddlers to push boundaries and its normal for them to not understand how strong they actually are!
That being said, its important that they arent given any chances after hurting someone.
If my toddler hurts anyone, be it baby or me or my parents, its a firm no and straight to time out. When he comes back he says sorry, can have a small cuddle with me then its back to playing.
Some days are harder than others, maybe toddler is needing extra cuddles and attention, but you need to be firm with them that thats not the way to get it xx

It definitely has to be a jealousy thing. My son is head over heels to meet his baby brother and absolutely loves all babies he comes across. Ig idk for sure till my baby is born but I could never imagine my son to hit him unless on accident or trying to be goofy.