Am I overreacting

My partner and I went out for the day yesterday and left our daughter with the in laws for the first time. When we went to pick her up my MIL said she hoped we didn’t mind but she had taken her to one of the neighbours. We were both annoyed by this and my partner expressed our disapproval and she tried to justify it with “she brought her a present when she was born”. The more I’ve thought about that comment the more it’s annoyed me as present buying shouldn’t give any entitlement to see someone else’s baby. This isn’t the first time they’ve crossed a boundary with her either.

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Had you expressed that you didn’t want to visit this neighbour for a particular reason? Unless I’m missing something about the neighbour, I am struggling to understand why you are so annoyed. When leaving our children with parents or in laws I think we can have boundaries which should be discussed beforehand but I don’t think we can micro manage where they go or who they see as long as the child is being well cared for. I think it would be unfair to expect them not to leave the house or see people whilst caring for the child. However if there is a reason eg neighbour smokes in the house then that’s different and I suppose that’s dealt with on a case by case basis.

Yeah I don’t understand either, it’s fine to have pre agreed boundaries but I trust my parents and they wouldn’t put my daughter in harms way and they do what they do… I’m happy for them to take her places, to see people. If she brings happiness to others that’s lovely.

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