How do you redirect your anger?
How are we redirecting our anger/annoyance at our other halves because I'm on the absolute verge of blowing up or crying.
It's just a bunch of little things I think that have added up and I keep apologizing for being moody but then more things happen, at this point I could honestly take the baby and the dog and go.
For example our baby has silent reflux and has had colic, I ask OH last week if he's putting the water in and then the formula because when I looked at some of the bottles he made they were just over 120ml instead of 150ml So i asked how many scoops were in it, he said 5, I said you've not out enough water in for 5, he said he had. Then today I've been on my way out to do the weekly shop, he's putting formula in the bottles before the water, so I've said you're not supposed to do it that way, he said says who, well me, Google, the midwife, the health visitor, the fucking back of box, he chucked the formula back in the box in a huff and then said are you going now because your doing my head in I've only just got in from work - 1) do it properly 2) I asked him if he could not spend 45 minutes upstairs when he comes home from work because I needed to go and pick something up at 6:30 and he got in around 6:10 normally he comes down around 7pm so he was already in a mood. I told him that's probably why the baby is crying in pain if he's not making the bottles correctly.
Then we're running out of formula and forgot it from the shop so I said I think it'll last til tomorrow he said he dropped some bottles because he was doing it with one hand - I do everything with one hand. I think I've been the loo once without the baby, I eat my food with one hand even though we normally eat together, there isn't much I don't do one handed including making the bottles.
Even when he's off work I feel like he might as well be at work, I don't think we've had a conversation longer than 2 minutes for about a week, we've got a meal booked for Saturday and I just want to cancel it, because I no I'm going to be the one who eats one handed and he'll say just put the baby down - then the baby will cry and then everyone looks at me. I don't think he's once tried to soothe the baby off to sleep, he's got no issues staying up past midnight when the baby comes to bed with me but when he's got the baby it's a different story, it'll be midnight on the dot and the baby will be handed to me whether I'm asleep or not, like tonight baby is 9 weeks so trying to get him into a routine so put him to bed upstairs he was crying so I went up, soothed him and came back down, then again crying I'm in the middle of doing something he's made no attempt to get up so I've got up again. 3rd time baby crying, not even a flinch from him.
Over the last few weeks he's been having the baby until midnight and bringing up but over a week he forgot to bring something up with him, once it was hot water so I've got a screaming baby but I've got to wait for the kettle to boil, then it was wipes not helpful when there's an poop explosion at 2am and just things like that.
So sorry for the rant, but I just feel like he's doing it wrong on purpose so he doesn't have to do it, get a grip.
Scared to get help and be seen as not coping
I'm 6 weeks PP with baby no2. I also have a 3 year old.
I'm really struggling but I don't want to tell my health visitor because I know as soon as I start speaking I will burst into tears and I can't do that, it's so embarrassing and I hate being seen as not coping.
She's due to visit on Wednesday to weigh baby and do a couple tests. I also have a GP appt soon for my 6 week check. I know I should probably mention my mental health to one of them but I just can't.
I keep expecting it to get better, and some days it feels easier, but then some days are just so dark and I can get a break from my mind or snap out of it.
I'm starting to feel distant from both my kids. My son (3yo) is in a VERY argumentative phase, and although I'm not a shouty parent, I have started getting short with him and unable to hide my annoyance. I can't look at him sometimes and just cannot wait for him to go to bed. I always feel guilty.
With my baby I just can't bare her being awake because the pressure of keeping her from crying makes me feel so unbelievably on edge. It's like I always have a lump in my throat, or like I always can't quite take a deep enough breath. When she goes to sleep I feel relieved. But the bigger she gets the less she sleeps, and the harder it is to get her to nap. She was awake from 6pm - 11:30pm tonight and nothing I was doing was working. My husband was also trying but I cannot bare to hear her crying when what he's doing isn't working. I'd rather be the one trying. I know it's silly.
But at 10:45pm I had to message him to come upstairs and get her and take her away because I was starting to get angry and so frustrated and telling her to shut up. She was clean, fed, burped, and just kept crying. If she woke my 3yo up it would be hell. I just can't take it. I feel so guilty for thinking like this.
I love my babies, I don't want to be a sad, angry mum but I just want to run away. I don't want to be with them.
Baby is asleep now buy I know she'll wake soon for a feed so I can't sleep. I feel like I'm drowning.
