Breastfeeding struggle…

So I am 2 weeks and 2 days postpartum.
For the first few days i managed to breastfeed directly however ended up with sore, lipstick shaped and bruised nipples. I also have flat nipples, so thats a barrier. Hence I was advised to give them some rest and only pump and feed via bottle.

I did that, and did try to get my baby to latch again however I get sore often again. So its been a week now that he has only been having pumped milk via bottle.
Now when i try to get him to latch, he gets frustrated and refuses.

I know he is still having breastmilk and he is gaining weight really well. Birth weight was 2.8kgs and now he is 3.4kgs.
But the sense of guilt of not being able to breastfeed directly really kills. I cannot provide him with the comfort of sucking or milk right away when hungry (as he has to wait for us to heat up the milk)
I haven’t had a lactation assessment yet nor have the team looked into tongue tie.
My husband is very supportive and keeps reminding me that this is not the end of my breastfeeding journey. We sometimes think that maybe his mouth is too small for proper latch as I have quite heavy breasts. So maybe when he’s a little bigger?
I don’t know… i feel very defeated with it and sometimes just wonder if I continue with exclusive pumping and feed via bottle… is that still okay?
:(

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It's more than ok! You're doing brilliantly, and you're giving your baby amazing breast milk. I really struggled with feeding my little boy and had to top up every feed with formula. I felt so terrible that I wasn't able to provide hin with what he needed. He really struggled to put on weight, which was heartbreaking. But after a couple of weeks we got a midwife who said he had a tongue tie. (We'd been told in the hospital that he didn't.) She referred us to the infant feeding team and they were able to resolve the tie and support me with getting better at breastfeeding.

Try to keep pushing for support from your local council, the health visitor or the hospital. My council have free drop-in breastfeeding clinics where you can get advice from a specialist. Mine also referred me to a lactation consultant for free. I suggest you ask whether there's something similar where you are?

Don't give up yet, but also if it doesn't work out for you just know that your little one will still thrive! x

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