Just need to rant and looking for advice

So means my ex broke up in August of last year. So whilst we were together he left our one year old in the house by herself so he could go to the shop just because he couldn’t be assed to wake her up and get her ready 😠 Then when either of our two girls were upset and crying he would shout and scream at them to shut up. Especially our oldest. She has autism and is none verbal with little understanding. She would get overwhelmed and upset and he would scream at her and even threaten to knock her out!! I would constantly go to work in tears at the thought of leaving them with him because at the time I felt trapped and like I never had an option. There was also a time where I was in bed asleep because I had been working night shift. Not even 30 minutes after o went to sleep he came and woke me up asking where our oldest was because the front door was open. She had gotten outside! Luckily she had only walked around onto the back garden but it could have been a lot worse. And what was he doing at the time? Stood in the kitchen playing on his phone and smoking exactly why he was doing when I had gotten home from work and gone to bed. It was frustrating too as he would always act like the perfect dad In front of other people. Then he was emotional abusive and manipulative towards me throughout our relationship and honestly I wish I left way before but I stayed because I thought I loved him.

Ever since we broke up he’s barely asks about the kids and has tried to get back with me multiple times but I keep saying no. He never takes it well and then constantly starts calling me names and saying I never tried to make things work and all this and that. He’s never really been a present parent and has only seen the kids a total of 8 times since then. He’s now saying he wants them on a weekend but I do not trust him at all. I do not feel comfortable letting him take them to another town and have them over the weekends at all. I obviously said no as I don’t trust him at all. I’m fine with him visiting them but I don’t want him having them at the weekends. Now him and all his family are kicking off at me. Bear in mind his family barely know our kids and don’t know what he was like. Even my mum and brother witnessed the way he would scream at the kids. Everyone I’ve spoken to has agreed with me and said they wouldn’t trust him either and a few have said he’s lucky he even gets to visit them. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to stop him seeing them because he’s their dad but I really don’t feel comfortable or trust him to have them alone over night after everything he’s done and I’m worried about what could potentially happen given what he was like before. I just don’t know what to do. Anyone else been through something similar or have any advice? The whole thing is just making me anxious and stressed.

in our community

Husband left 8mo. unattended in high chair at hotel breakfast

Husband went to hotel breakfast buffet with our 8 month old a few minutes to get set up. When I walked in I saw my husband on his own getting some fruit.

Our baby was strapped in the high chair about 10m across the room from him. When my husband walked over I said “caught you, you left our baby unattended in the high chair”.

My husband then immediately got quiet, claimed he wasn’t hungry anymore and was generally in a bad mood. I said “why aren’t you hungry anymore? Is it because I called you out on leaving our baby alone?”

He then stormed off and said “good luck with breakfast”, before sending a flurry of angry texts saying he did nothing wrong, he’s a great dad, and I treat him like a fucking child, telling him off like I’m his mum. He said “our baby has never even looked close to falling out”, to which I responded “it only takes two seconds”.

Husband now not talking to me and our last day on holiday is ruined.

Context: the high chair is an ikea one with only a 3 point harness.

I am right to be annoyed?

Me and my husband have a nearly 3 year old and a 4 month old
The only day we get as a family is a Saturday because every Sunday is taken up with him at golf. He promised when we had our second he would do it every other weekend. That happened for aboir a month then back to old habits.
I never tell him he can't go but I will make it obvious I am not impressed every week. Now my son is old enough to be upset when daddy goes off to golf its becoming hard.
Am I right in being annoyed or shall I just let him get on with it? I don't want to stop him doing things he enjoys, it makes him happy. I think even if I tried to stop him he'd still go.

I don’t identify with my kids names.

Has anyone else felt like this after giving your children names outside their culture and also giving them your husbands last name? I think about it daily and it really upsets me.

My husband says I’m toxic

He told me I’m toxic and I’m poisoning our relationship because I only want to have sex when he screams at me about how I never give it to him. I told him that coercion, and maybe if he didn’t get so angry every time I said no, I’d want to more often. I told him this makes him the toxic one. He says with everything he does for me and the family, the least I can do is lay on my back without complaining. I told him it needs to be something we both want, and he said we only do it when I want… I said no, because he also wants it when I do, and there have been times I’ve initiated and he said no and I respected that. I said if anything, we do it more when he wants because he’s not wrong about me giving in when he yells at me. He says he shouldn’t have to yell at me to get taken care of properly, and that I’m failing him as a wife. I told him he sounds ridiculous and he’s the one being toxic, to which he flipped out with “I’m always the problem” and I told him yeah, he is always the problem. I’m not perfect, but I spend a lot of time fixing what he breaks. He ended up telling me if we didn’t have sex last night then he was divorcing me. I told him I wasn’t doing it, and that I agreed maybe a divorce is best if sex is really the only things he sees me for. He left before I woke up this morning. I haven’t even tried to contact him. I’m still just so… dumbfounded?? Like the actual fuck?

Greek yoghurt

What Greek yoghurt is everyone using? (uk)
I can only seem to find Greek style yoghurt, is this ok ? Is it pretty much the same thing ?

WWYD. Would this bother you?

I have a friend who is always checking out what we do, what we buy, how we do this or that, etc... When she comes to our home she mentions how nice this, how nice that, asks where we buy stuff, mentions how we “don't settle for regular things”. Every single time.

Comments about our shelves, towels, napkins, tablecloth, chairs, clothes, toys, plants, bag, mats, water bottles, Keychain, anything...

At the beginning I didn't think anything about it, I thought it was her way of giving a compliment. But after making the same comments every time we meet, it is a bit much and it feels like I am being scrutinized.

After we visit my family she asks my toddler - not me- how big is my parents house, how many rooms... I thought that was so weird and inappropriate. I am starting to feel she is getting kind of privy to our life and a bit obsessed.

Later I started noticing she would try to copy the same things. Again, at the beginning it didn't bother me, but after a while I found it weird she would want to buy the same things and I feel it is not normal.

I know it is not the end of the world but it has made me want to avoid her.