Would this ongoing dynamic wear you down?
Partner got home from work, spent 45 minutes chatting to a neighbour, then happily went for a little drive with him.
Meanwhile, I was trying to sort dinner. I offered to pay for a Chinese because he had no money. The only place open required collection. He agreed to go, but not before huffing and saying, completely unprompted, “I’m not doing the washing up though.”
While he was gone, I did all of the washing up because our tiny kitchen looked like a crime scene and I wanted it sorted before the baby needed me.
After dinner, there were literally two bowls and two forks left. He initially agreed to wash them. When I reminded him, suddenly it was, “Why can’t you just do it? It’s only two bowls.”
Apparently all the washing up is “mine” anyway, despite a large chunk of it coming from feeding our children three meals a day, snacks, drinks and bottles. He then informed me that if I do 75% of the washing up, he does 275%.
For context, he does do a fair bit of washing up, especially on his days off. My frustration isn’t the bowls. It’s that I do the vast majority of the childcare, baby care, bottles, night wakes and household management, so asking for help with two bowls somehow turning into a courtroom defence felt a bit much.
By the end I’d been called a spoiled brat, we’d debated the existence of dog water that he lied about refilling, and somehow an empty can on the side became relevant evidence.
The two bowls were never the issue. The issue is that I feel like I live with a barrister who specialises in arguing over household chores.
Would this annoy you too, or am I seeing it wrong? Would this ongoing dynamic wear you down? This is constant. There’s something every single day at this point and it’s so fucking petty it’s draining the soul from me.
Husband talking too another Woman
Looking for some advice and just need to get it out anonymously.
I've been with my husband for years, we have a 2.5 year old together, a mortgage, and we've been trying for a second baby. Things have been off between us for a little while and I've felt him withdrawing, but I've been trying to make it work because I love my family.
Something felt wrong so I looked at his phone and found messages between him and a girl he went to college with. She's recently gone through a divorce. He's texting her constantly, including checking in on her at 6:30 in the morning. He's asking about her dating life, giving her compliments, and he even invited to buy her a drink and to soft play with the kids.
I confronted him and he says he knows how it looks but that she's just a friend.
I haven't told anyone in my life because I'm scared and don't want to worry people around me.
Has anyone been through something similar? How did you handle it? Did you believe them when they said it was just a friend? I just need to hear from people who understand.