Am I Being Selfish??
Hi everyone! FTM here! i need some advice about the convo me and my partner have been having.. he wants everyone to come and see our baby at the hospital i however, don’t want anyone there. he’s talking about his brothers, mother, stepdad, bio dad, grandma and grandad to come see our baby boy again, i do not.
My family live 3hrs away so its not an option for me whatsoever and I’ve come to terms with that. my point is, i want to spend time with the family i now have, i dont want people coming to see our son just after he’s been born and everything i’ve emotionally and physically had to go through.
Am i being selfish? he seems quite upset by the matter which i dont want but i don’t want to see my own family after going through it let alone his (would also like to say i do get on with his family and they seem fine that we want to be in our bubble, his mum even advices me to)
Would this ongoing dynamic wear you down?
Partner got home from work, spent 45 minutes chatting to a neighbour, then happily went for a little drive with him.
Meanwhile, I was trying to sort dinner. I offered to pay for a Chinese because he had no money. The only place open required collection. He agreed to go, but not before huffing and saying, completely unprompted, “I’m not doing the washing up though.”
While he was gone, I did all of the washing up because our tiny kitchen looked like a crime scene and I wanted it sorted before the baby needed me.
After dinner, there were literally two bowls and two forks left. He initially agreed to wash them. When I reminded him, suddenly it was, “Why can’t you just do it? It’s only two bowls.”
Apparently all the washing up is “mine” anyway, despite a large chunk of it coming from feeding our children three meals a day, snacks, drinks and bottles. He then informed me that if I do 75% of the washing up, he does 275%.
For context, he does do a fair bit of washing up, especially on his days off. My frustration isn’t the bowls. It’s that I do the vast majority of the childcare, baby care, bottles, night wakes and household management, so asking for help with two bowls somehow turning into a courtroom defence felt a bit much.
By the end I’d been called a spoiled brat, we’d debated the existence of dog water that he lied about refilling, and somehow an empty can on the side became relevant evidence.
The two bowls were never the issue. The issue is that I feel like I live with a barrister who specialises in arguing over household chores.
Would this annoy you too, or am I seeing it wrong? Would this ongoing dynamic wear you down? This is constant. There’s something every single day at this point and it’s so fucking petty it’s draining the soul from me.
