New single mums / mums struggling/ single mums

Too fast or normal?

My ex of 6 months is seeing a new woman who is also a single mother. I found out through my toddler repeatedly saying their names so weeks later I asked who they were and he told me then.

Still believe he is lying about her spending time in their home the weekends but I believe he is a pathological liar now.

I am furious I was never told that my 2 year old was spending time with them. I told him I felt violated and was angry and do not trust him now as a co parent. I was angry and all he could say was ‘you don’t control me anymore’ ‘you don’t get to say what I do’.

Zero accountability.

Finally seeing that I may have been with someone with NPD or BPD. It’s scary to look back at the 7 years and think I was going along and enabling this illusion of a false self.

Also found out that he lied to his work as he works in HR about the relationship and used a scapegoat who he went to the gym with.

Actually can’t fathom this man who was self proclaimed man of his word, valued loyalty, family man.

I see so clearly now the illusion.

in our community

Nurseries

My little one’s nursery still charges us if we have pre booked holidays ? Is this normal? Just doesn’t make sense to me that we are paying for a service when he won’t be there, we were told that the fees secure his place at the nursery ?

My husband didn't say goodnight

So my husband has gone to Paris for a business trip and I am only 8 weeks PP. He has left me with a baby and another child as well as 2 cats and the cat has kittens. So there is a LOT to do. I am exhausted. Not only does the baby just not sleep but I have to be showered and ready for the school run by 8.30. It's just honestly a nightmare. Well I was fine with all of this as long as my husband just follows one simple effing rule. If he goes out drinking can he just call me when he gets home. Thats it. So this evening I tried to call him he ignored my calls eventually answers and I hear other voices including female voices. He tells me he's going for a work dinner. Ok. Why didnt he tell me before? Then I expected him to call me when it was over. He dodnt. Mind you we just had this argument last night because he did the same fucking thing so I reminded him all he has to do is call me to say goodnight. So obviously I think hes cheating on me. Im just so annoyed and angry and feeling emotional because if hes not cheating on me then what if he was on an accident or something? I am feeling sick with panic and anxiety. Honestly fuck him. Stupid fucking cunt. Thats all. Sorry just needed to rant.

Food shop weekly cost

How much are people spending on food shopping a week? We spend between £80-100 a week, this is for 2 adults and 2 kids, a dog and a cat. Do our shopping in Tesco and most weeks we will end up in a shopping for washing detergent, dishwasher tablets, animal food etc as we like to physically look at what is the best deals that week in a shop.

I just hear people doing these videos about how they can spend £30 for 4/5 meals and I have no idea how they do this!!

Husband talking too another Woman

Looking for some advice and just need to get it out anonymously.
I've been with my husband for years, we have a 2.5 year old together, a mortgage, and we've been trying for a second baby. Things have been off between us for a little while and I've felt him withdrawing, but I've been trying to make it work because I love my family.
Something felt wrong so I looked at his phone and found messages between him and a girl he went to college with. She's recently gone through a divorce. He's texting her constantly, including checking in on her at 6:30 in the morning. He's asking about her dating life, giving her compliments, and he even invited to buy her a drink and to soft play with the kids.
I confronted him and he says he knows how it looks but that she's just a friend.
I haven't told anyone in my life because I'm scared and don't want to worry people around me.
Has anyone been through something similar? How did you handle it? Did you believe them when they said it was just a friend? I just need to hear from people who understand.

Would this ongoing dynamic wear you down?

Partner got home from work, spent 45 minutes chatting to a neighbour, then happily went for a little drive with him.

Meanwhile, I was trying to sort dinner. I offered to pay for a Chinese because he had no money. The only place open required collection. He agreed to go, but not before huffing and saying, completely unprompted, “I’m not doing the washing up though.”

While he was gone, I did all of the washing up because our tiny kitchen looked like a crime scene and I wanted it sorted before the baby needed me.

After dinner, there were literally two bowls and two forks left. He initially agreed to wash them. When I reminded him, suddenly it was, “Why can’t you just do it? It’s only two bowls.”

Apparently all the washing up is “mine” anyway, despite a large chunk of it coming from feeding our children three meals a day, snacks, drinks and bottles. He then informed me that if I do 75% of the washing up, he does 275%.

For context, he does do a fair bit of washing up, especially on his days off. My frustration isn’t the bowls. It’s that I do the vast majority of the childcare, baby care, bottles, night wakes and household management, so asking for help with two bowls somehow turning into a courtroom defence felt a bit much.

By the end I’d been called a spoiled brat, we’d debated the existence of dog water that he lied about refilling, and somehow an empty can on the side became relevant evidence.

The two bowls were never the issue. The issue is that I feel like I live with a barrister who specialises in arguing over household chores.

Would this annoy you too, or am I seeing it wrong? Would this ongoing dynamic wear you down? This is constant. There’s something every single day at this point and it’s so fucking petty it’s draining the soul from me.

Do any of you ladies practice manual evacuation?

I find it especially helpful. Its great for super-formed poops that just need rotated or those annoying pebbles that never come out no matter how much you push. For those that don't know, its done by inserting a finger or thumb in the vagina and coaxing/pushing poop out since the vagina and anus share a tissue wall.