Does it get easier?

My husband is high functioning Asperger’s and everytime our LO cries, he gets overwhelmed and can never attend to her - meaning I have to rush and come back home or run to her.

He shuts down and stares rather than call my help to stop it getting to this point.

I appreciate he thinks he’s giving me a break but makes it worse as I now have to regulate them both 🫠

Any tips as I just want to enjoy 5 mins to myself without having to always jump in because the times I show him my tricks - he’d rather play video games or be on his phone!

He is also having difficulty bonding due to postpartum depression

He keeps saying when she’s older it’ll help him as “what does she have to cry about, you do everything for her”😳 he forgets she’s a baby at times and natural to cry (trauma from his parents)

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My husband isnt autistic but he was pretty similar in that he didnt have patience to take care of our crying baby. I showed him my tricks too but he'd never implement them... tbh i left him 7m pp so if he wanted to see the baby he had to sit at my grandma's house (where I live with baby), or be okay with taking baby to his house alone. So he started taking baby himself. Sometimes he brings him back early if baby is fussy (because he cant get him to nap), but they often have a good time together now (baby is 12mo, I think it started getting much better when he started crawling and was more independent. He was extremely velcro to me). So anyways basically he only started doing much better when baby got a little older. Everyone tells me thats just how men are 🙄 women are the default parents 🙄 so idk. Especially with your husband being ND. Might actually just have to wait for baby to grow more.

How old is baby? You could try teaching baby sign language. Maybe if they can communicate things like "milk, eat, play, sleep" your husband will have an easier time?

Could he wear noise cancelling headphones or loops? He'll still be able to hear baby but it won't be a full sensory overload

The overwhelm from Aspergers is understandable, but playing video games instead of trying to do his absolute best to find ways to cope is not understandable / and definitely not fair on you and baby. Has he tried going to a therapist to get advice on ways to cope?

in our community

Doing it wrong 😴🤣

I just realised I’ve been using the Milton tablets wrong after seeing another post 🤣 I’ve been soaking the mam bottles and parts in soapy water before a wash and rinsing then soaking it in the Milton water solution. I’d then rinse once more then put them in the microwave to sterilise. Hadn’t realised the tablet is a steriliser all these months 🤣 My LO is 8 months now 🤣

Signed a clearly exhausted, lost a few brain cells mum 🤣🤣

First little ponytails

I had to.... they wasn't too tight and litrally in for like 2 minutes. But I cant wait to be able to this properly with her when shes older.

Hate breastfeeding?

Hi, I'm 21y single mom 2 months pp and currently having a hard time nursing my LO.

Not because he can't latch, low milk supply, nor inverted nips. I just don't like the feeling of it. He latches perfectly and I am an enougher but I get the DMER everytime i feel the first let down.

Am I a bad mom if I want him to switch to formula even though it's been just two months? Most of the people around me say it's selfish to stop breastfeeding for my own good. But how can I function well and be a good mom if breastfeeding is so depressing?

Nap time

Where are you all putting your little ones to sleep? Baby is 4 months old and currently naps in his Moses basket in the living room with the TV on and me coming in and out etc. should I be putting him in his crib? I read somewhere that daytime naps should be light and noisy (to an extent) so they can differentiate, but thinking I should try him upstairs in our bedroom?

Quitting pumping or breastfeeding mastitis

Hey guys
Has anyone stopped breastfeeding or exclusively pumping after a bout of mastitis?

I exclusively pump (which I hate and makes me miserable), however I experienced mastitis as of two days ago. Horrendous pain in my breast, hard as a brick.

I’ve got terrible mum guilt for wanting to wean off pumping now and switch to formula so this doesn’t happen again.

I’m a healthcare professional and repeated courses of antibiotics is something that terrifies me… I’d rather give up breast milk than have mastitis and antibiotics again 😢

5 month old -

My 5 month old babbles and squeals so LOUD all day long when she’s not asleep. And even at night for the past week she has gone from sleeping through to waking after midnight and babbling and scratching the crib for 2 hours so I will feed her to help her settle again.. is this normal? I know that might sound like a silly question but I guess it’s because she’s my second and I can’t remember my first babbling and squealing so loudly constantly. She seems fine she’s not crying. But I’m very tired from lots of broken sleep over the past week and I’m starting to think if it’s something I’ve done ?