Would this offend you?
When I was days away from giving birth, my husband told me- I can’t remember how the topic came up- that his parents had once offered to adopt our baby if I didn’t want her.
I remember scoffing in disbelief and being offended, but dismissed it at the time as something very ill judged (this is when my relationship with them was fine).
For context, they are exceptionally overprotective of their son- who did not want our baby at all.
But now, a year on, having experienced a thousand moments of their entitlement of our baby it has been bothering me more and more. My husband gets angry at me every time I bring it up, claiming they were just being kind but it really offended me.
We live with them and they’ve intruded into every single thing they can. Broken every boundary and my FIL completely ignores my maternal autonomy in every way. And has become increasingly antagonistic as I try and get him to back off and respect my rules with my baby. He has gotten to the point where he snatches things out of my hands to give her instead- and lying to everybody else about having done that. All I get are comments about ‘how much he loves her’, ‘how wonderful it is that he gets to experience this’ after working abroad when his son was a baby. How he always wanted a girl. It makes me furious.
So it just keeps creeping back in. The adoption offer. When they knew I very very much wanted my baby, that I was very prepared for her and a capable person.
Would any of you be bothered by that? Or should I listen to my husband that it was a just in case, nice offer?
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Move out, find a way, you need space. When that baby gets older they're going to try and turn her against you
That is an incredibly bizarre thing of them to say, I can't believe that kindness was intended there. It's one thing to offer to take her in if something were to happen to you, but if someone had insinuated for a second at any point that I didn't want my baby I would've kicked offffffff.
Hope you're okay!
that's insane! I would understand if you were unsure about the baby too but when you want your baby that's such an odd thing to say. i really don't understand grandparents obsessions over their grandkids, hopefully it'll be something that passes over (not that you should have to grin and bear it). if I were you i would definitely try what I could to move out if that would be possible, even if you do have to go through the council. i don't understand your husband being mad at you over it, he should be mad at them with you if he was any sort of partner 🙄 i do agree with jai that they'll probably try and turn the baby against you, especially since you live with them, they'll probably try and use that against you too. I hope all gets better for you soon though, I would definitely struggle in that situation! xx
Just get your baby & husband and move out
I had a similar situation with my in laws while we were living together
I took my family (husband & child) and moved out as soon as we could.. they changed 180 degrees after
From being against me and causing problems to be nice and try to keep me closer
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