Would this offend you?

When I was days away from giving birth, my husband told me- I can’t remember how the topic came up- that his parents had once offered to adopt our baby if I didn’t want her.

I remember scoffing in disbelief and being offended, but dismissed it at the time as something very ill judged (this is when my relationship with them was fine).

For context, they are exceptionally overprotective of their son- who did not want our baby at all.

But now, a year on, having experienced a thousand moments of their entitlement of our baby it has been bothering me more and more. My husband gets angry at me every time I bring it up, claiming they were just being kind but it really offended me.

We live with them and they’ve intruded into every single thing they can. Broken every boundary and my FIL completely ignores my maternal autonomy in every way. And has become increasingly antagonistic as I try and get him to back off and respect my rules with my baby. He has gotten to the point where he snatches things out of my hands to give her instead- and lying to everybody else about having done that. All I get are comments about ‘how much he loves her’, ‘how wonderful it is that he gets to experience this’ after working abroad when his son was a baby. How he always wanted a girl. It makes me furious.

So it just keeps creeping back in. The adoption offer. When they knew I very very much wanted my baby, that I was very prepared for her and a capable person.

Would any of you be bothered by that? Or should I listen to my husband that it was a just in case, nice offer?

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Move out, find a way, you need space. When that baby gets older they're going to try and turn her against you

That is an incredibly bizarre thing of them to say, I can't believe that kindness was intended there. It's one thing to offer to take her in if something were to happen to you, but if someone had insinuated for a second at any point that I didn't want my baby I would've kicked offffffff.

Hope you're okay!

that's insane! I would understand if you were unsure about the baby too but when you want your baby that's such an odd thing to say. i really don't understand grandparents obsessions over their grandkids, hopefully it'll be something that passes over (not that you should have to grin and bear it). if I were you i would definitely try what I could to move out if that would be possible, even if you do have to go through the council. i don't understand your husband being mad at you over it, he should be mad at them with you if he was any sort of partner 🙄 i do agree with jai that they'll probably try and turn the baby against you, especially since you live with them, they'll probably try and use that against you too. I hope all gets better for you soon though, I would definitely struggle in that situation! xx

Just get your baby & husband and move out
I had a similar situation with my in laws while we were living together
I took my family (husband & child) and moved out as soon as we could.. they changed 180 degrees after
From being against me and causing problems to be nice and try to keep me closer

I heard an "offer" was made to send my child to the grandparents for the first 5 years to "help with the childcare costs".

Same grandparents that ditched my partner as an 8 year old to live on his own so he didn't have to commute to school. No. Not school supported accommodation. They bought a flat and left him there on his own.
And now they make such a "generous" offer. Over my dead body.

So I do feel for you girl. The adoption offer should never be brought up when they knew you wanted your child.
They probably offered it since your partner wasn't eager to be the full time dad around. Has he came around? If he did try to have a calm conversation on how it all makes you feel. Hopefully he will take your side and will have a conversation with his parents to back off a little.
Good luck!

RUN. From someone who had an in-law make a similar comment (prior to my pregnancy) move out ASAPPP and hold your boundaries with them FIRMLY no matter how many arguments it causes. I saw this particular in-law GRAB a relatives toddler and RUN away with them at a theme park without permission and became extremely obsessive over their child. The disrespecting boundaries got worse and worse as years went on until they went no contact

I’ve never heard of this. I would be very cautious and try my level best to move out as soon as possible. Even if it’s to the council or whatever but no dependence on them whatsoever

Run for the hills, literally leave and if your husband doesn’t leave with you, leave him and keep your baby safe!

in our community

Crazy in laws

Does anyone here even like reading family drama? 😂 Because I have enough stories from the last 3 years to write a whole Netflix series.

Ever since I got married, my life has felt like a Bollywood movie thanks to my husband’s family. We’re from different ethnic backgrounds (he’s Arab, I’m Uzbek), but we share the same religion.

My husband is genuinely a good man—he helps at home, provides for us, spoils me whenever he can, and always stands up for me. His biggest flaw is that he tries to keep everyone happy, and that usually ends with us arguing instead.

Just to give you an idea… during my first week of marriage, my mother-in-law compared my looks to my husband’s ex. His brothers told me I reminded them of girls he used to date. When I got pregnant with a girl, my mother-in-law was disappointed because she wanted a grandson. Then when I gave birth, she complained that I didn’t let her be in the delivery room.

And trust me… that’s not even close to the wildest story. 😂

Help! summer holiday 2027

Backstory - i have a little boy 2.5 im not with his dad due to domestic abuse i have a new partner and he’s fantastic and is basically a dad to my first born although he came into his life just after he turned 1 and was walking so he missed the ‘baby’ stage. He has no kids and is the oldest brother with none of his siblings having had kids yet -
Fast forward to now we are trying for a baby and hope to be pregnant in the next few months giving us a due day of end of May/June
His mum wants to book a holiday for me my partner and my son so go on next year with his family they go to the same place each year (turkey) which is a 5 hour flight plus transfer in a self catering hotel - i tried to offer up some alternative places that are a bit more suitable to accommodate a small baby and baby things and shorter flight but i came across really ungrateful and it didn’t seem to me considered they are really lovely we have havent nor do we plan on telling anyone about a possible baby so having to try to say things without much reasoning - they are planning the trip for late july/ august which also means i’m still going to be pretty newly postpartum and my partner doesn’t fully know what that intails he only just realised the other day how long i might bleed for i also had a section with my boy so i couldn’t think of anything worse than travelling that far with a healing wound! but equally love the idea of being in a bubble and spending quality time with everyone and new baby and soaking up some vitamin d to aid my recovery

Partner unfaithful online

My partner has been sending explicit images of himself on a couples site. He did this without my knowledge and even put my initial and a fake age for me and had it set to a couples account without my knowledge or consent. He hasn’t used my photos he claims. But he says he thinks people thought they were talking to the lady of the account.

We have two children under 3. I have had HG and PPD both times, and only just getting better now mentally/emotionally. I’ve been under perinatal mental health. He’s been closed off and says he’s found it hard to talk to me truthfully about his feelings.

He said the way I’ve been acting towards him since our 2nd baby was born made him lonely and he wanted to escape who he’s become recently. I’ve felt very alone too, but have always put my kids and him above myself.

I’ve given him plenty of opportunities to talk with me and even at times almost begged him to speak to me and tell me what’s going on in his head. I’ve also been very upfront about what I need from him - more emotional vulnerability and honesty.

What would you do?

Ugh Men!!!

I've been with my husband for 8 years this year (married last year) he's great Iove him but our sex life frustrates me no end!!!

It's always his way what he wants what suits him it's never and I mean never about me I don't orgasm ever I don't ever have any desire to have sex except for when I'm ovulating (mother nature 🥴) but I do it as it's part of a relationship however, the more I think about it the more I have no desire to have sex is because he's a get in get out kinda guy no foreplay no touching bar grabbing my noobs a bit no missing he literally just wants sex and when he's done (which isn't long btw) he just rolls over and goes to sleep I feel used I feel like an object (we've talked about it plenty of times( and it's got so bad now I'm craving someone to just notice me and want me and want to make me happy because I just don't feel like I get that at all I almost want someone to want me so bad to make him jealous and realise I'm not just his sex on tap person and I deserve to feeloved wanted and enjoy sex too!

Dong really know what the point is to this other than to being as it's currently 1:40am I'm angry and cannot sleep despite being tired I just feel so let down and annoyed. Hoping by venting and typing some of this out I can finally get some sleep before having to just be mum all over again tomorrow ugh 😔

Is anyone else completely failing potty training?

I tried a month ago for 3-4 days naked bum, sitting on a potty and nothing. He will literally sit on the potty for ages, then stand up and have a wee on the floor. Poo - he withholds it until the nappy is on. So the month passed, started again, and exactly the same thing! I think he is ready, he hides for his poos and when he does wee he tells me wee wee. I'm reading all these posts about babies being completely potty trained and I just feel like I'm failing my boy and doing something wrong :(

Potty etiquette 😂

Random question, but if for example you’re in a supermarket or a clothes shop, is it acceptable to just get out the carry potty (in a discreet corner)? Or are you to try and find a toilet and hopefully there’s one close by?