Baby bonding with in-laws
I’ve been having a tough time getting used to my baby bonding with my in-laws. Baby is 8 month old. My in-laws have been staying with us helping watch baby while I work. My sis in law spends the most awake time with my baby and plays with her. 90% of the wake window, she uses it to kiss my baby and barely reads/entertains her with toys. Just kisses and makes my baby kiss her or gives my baby zoomies by throwing her up in air. My mother in law on the other hand, focuses on elaborate cooking and makes a mess of the kitchen and doesn’t let me prepare baby’s food. Insists on preparing it herself and is almost late by atleast couple hours. Like baby eats breakfast at 11 AM, lunch at 3 PM etc. She gets offended if I offer to do it myself and cries and my partner gets mad on me. Also I normally do contact naps with my baby and my sis in law takes baby to the bedroom and contact naps which I’m totally uncomfortable with. Another thing which she does bothers me is - I do not like too much social media presence of my baby. I refrain myself most times but occasionally post my baby without face. My sis in law copies this style and posts almost everyday with my baby. Intimate pics like kissing, cuddling, baby reels etc. I’m not sure if it’s just me being possessive over baby or if I should be grateful and accept the love my baby is getting or draw boundaries for what I’m uncomfortable with. I really wanna do the last one but my baby seems so attached with them. So it makes me wonder they aren’t forcing my baby do anything. Maybe it’s my relationship with my in-laws which is surfacing as tension. They have on multiple occasions been selfish with me. E.g my wedding reception dress was ruined by a tailor and my husband asked if my sis in law could offer her dress instead. My mom in law and her blatantly refused and were okay even if the bride had no dress to wear. They also always compete with my parents in their relationship with my baby. First time mom so any advice from other moms would help me! TIA.
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I didn’t even finish reading this… that all sounds so insane. You’re the mum so you’re in charge of your baby and can create any rules and boundaries you want regardless of what they want
This is awful, you’re literally a bystander in your own baby’s life 😭 … boundaries shouldn’t ruin their relationship with your baby as long as they’re still happy to continue loving your baby within your boundaries. You’re totally valid in how you feel - I’d be so mortified if this was happening to me. I’m so sorry your husband isn’t sticking up for you here - sometimes men just really don’t get it. Our babies are our whole hearts living outside of us so we feel everything so deeply and personally when it comes to them. I hope you find a way to communicate your feelings to your husband in a way where he can respect and enforce boundaries with his family. I feel it’s for him to do so that it doesn’t ruin the relationship with them and to find a way forward that works for everyone so your baby continues to have those beautiful connections outside of you as well (but within normal reason!)
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