5 weeks postpartum I still look 20 weeks pregnant. Starting to hate my body.
I gained 24kg (over 50lbs) in pregnancy, thanks to pre-eclampsia. Most of that was gained in the 3rd trimester 🫠
Magically, I lost 15kg in just the couple of days after birth (ridiculous water retention!).
Now I gave birth 5 weeks ago and I look 20 WEEKS PREGNANT. Stretch marks appeared on my stomach and thighs out of NOWHERE.
I’m still between 9-10kg over my pre-pregnancy weight. All of which is on my stomach and thighs.
I lost 0 further weight in these 5 weeks since birth, only the initial 15-ish kg.
I was relatively skinny before pregnancy, and now I look like a permanently pregnant woman.
I don’t know how I’ll get my stomach to go down anywhere near to what it used to be - being so busy with the baby and my muscles separating.
All I have is a couple of maternity dresses to hide my “bump”. But I’m starting to hate going outside, especially introducing myself to people who never met me before, because I look (yes I’m gonna say it) fat.
I know I’m not alone and I shouldn’t be harsh on myself, but this is brutal. And I hate when my husband sees me naked.
Birth trauma (????)
Has anyone had any experience with your birth being the most straightforward, best case senario, even some people’s dream birth, but really struggle to move on from it?
For some context, I had such a straightforward pregnancy with no complications at all. I went into labour late at night, went into the hospital to find out I was 7cm dialated and had given birth less than an hour later. My entire pregnancy, my only “birth plan” was I wanted the epidural, however wasn’t able to get one in time. That really freaked me out and was something I wasn’t prepared for, as someone with an extremely low pain tolerance. I was standing at the side of the labour bed, silently begging for the epidural person to hurry when i felt the need to push, my midwife told me to trust my body and do so, and within one push my baby was out. But the fear and pain I felt in those few moments have felt traumatising and have tormented me ever since. It feels so silly saying that as it was as straightforward as every woman hopes it to be, but a few weeks post partum I just remember thinking “I can’t ever do that again”. The thought of that pain as I pushed keeps me up at night and the look of my partners helpless face haunts me.
My friend had her baby by induction 5 weeks earlier, the induction failed over 5 days and ended in an emergency c-section, and she was also traumatised by that experience, so in comparison my birth was like a dream to her.
I guess what I’m trying to ask is it normal to feel traumatised from birth in general? I know that women have such traumatic experiences and I feel guilty by labelling my own as traumatic
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