Birth trauma (????)
Has anyone had any experience with your birth being the most straightforward, best case senario, even some people’s dream birth, but really struggle to move on from it?
For some context, I had such a straightforward pregnancy with no complications at all. I went into labour late at night, went into the hospital to find out I was 7cm dialated and had given birth less than an hour later. My entire pregnancy, my only “birth plan” was I wanted the epidural, however wasn’t able to get one in time. That really freaked me out and was something I wasn’t prepared for, as someone with an extremely low pain tolerance. I was standing at the side of the labour bed, silently begging for the epidural person to hurry when i felt the need to push, my midwife told me to trust my body and do so, and within one push my baby was out. But the fear and pain I felt in those few moments have felt traumatising and have tormented me ever since. It feels so silly saying that as it was as straightforward as every woman hopes it to be, but a few weeks post partum I just remember thinking “I can’t ever do that again”. The thought of that pain as I pushed keeps me up at night and the look of my partners helpless face haunts me.
My friend had her baby by induction 5 weeks earlier, the induction failed over 5 days and ended in an emergency c-section, and she was also traumatised by that experience, so in comparison my birth was like a dream to her.
I guess what I’m trying to ask is it normal to feel traumatised from birth in general? I know that women have such traumatic experiences and I feel guilty by labelling my own as traumatic
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My birth was horrific, your situation sounds ideal BUT even still all births are traumatic, it’s the feeling of having no control & feeling helpless. Quick births like yours send your body into shock, it took 5 days for my baby to arrive so by the time i was pushing i was SO glad even though that failed and i ended dup in theatre for assisted delivery.
Where as you werent really able to prepare yourself mentally or to follow your birth plan & that is also so scary, having no control in such a big moment that you’ve spent so long thinking about is scary. &Even if it is quick it doesnt take away from the fact that it is AGONISING, 1 push or 50 when that baby is on it’s way out it is horrific. My 5 day labour was awful but the 5 minutes where he was coming out was a different kind of pain and im still traumatised by it, i can still feel it when i lay in bed at night or when im sitting on the toilet lol. I dont have trauma from any other part of my birth, just those few minutes.
my birth was absolutely horrific, within 20 minutes of having my waters broken my contractions became 10 seconds apart and very intense but I was stuck at 3cm, I was in and out of consciousness trying to push without realising, my baby became stuck and his heart rate dropped below 50, my oxygen then dropped and I couldn’t breathe so I was rushed for an emergency c section where I then haemorrhaged needing a blood transfusion which then resulted in a clot. Me and the baby then ended up getting an infection post birth. I can’t remember the first 3 days of my baby’s life because of all the meds and how unwell I was, I’ll never have that moment mums talk about when they meet/hold their baby for the first time as I can’t remember mine. So your birth sounds like an absolute dream to me and I would give anything to have that experience but everyone is different and if that’s caused trauma then I would recommend speaking to the after thoughts service that most hospitals offer x
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